As both Roo and the Nezheads among the Chickies want to be sued by Nez, Roo had the idea of founding the S.U.N.! Which simple means : SUE US NEZ!!! So, this is what this little page is about!
Note : we are working on getting sued by Mike, but that's gonna take a while, so in the meantime our honor chickie Roo suggested that we sue him for being "so darn sexy!"

BTW: The SUN inspires to rewrite songs... well, three so far ;) Those can be found here

scene: A courtroom in the year 2001

characters:
*Michael Nesmith (defendant)
*Miss Roo (accuser)
*Micky Dolenz (Miss Roo´s barrister)
*Davy Jones (witness)
*Peter Tork (witness)
*Victoria Kennedy (witness)
*Miss Fuzzy (witness)
*Miss Mary St. Matthew (witness)
*Miss Wolle (juror)
*Miss Nevada Smith (juror)
*Miss Greenie (juror)
*Miss Hearty (juror)
*Miss Gwen Hudson (juror)
*Big Bird (juror)
*Chel
*all the other Chickies (jurors)
*Kathryn Marie Bild (witness)
*Dr. John Truman Carter, III (doctor)
*the loudspeaker
*Matthew Perry
*Colin Firth
*Jason Vorhees
*Keanu Reeves
*Conan O'Brien
*Bob
*Jimmy
*Steve Jobs
*Woz
*Joan Rivers
*Larry Hagman (incognito)
*16 Red
*George Harrison
*John Lennon
*neznut
*Beets
*Elaine (the girl from the street)
*Don Kirshner
*Bill and Ted
*Clifford Franklin (who is petrified)
*Severus Snape
*Ron Weasley
*Hermione Granger
*Harry Potter
*Neo
*Trinity
* the desk
*the judge, of course!

The trial:

Everybody stands up from their seats when the judge enters the courtroom. He tells everybody to sit down and starts the trial.
Judge:"Mr. Nesmith, you have been accused of being too sexy by Miss Roo!"
Fuzzy & Mary (giggling):"Right, baby, yeah, too sexy!"
Barrister Dolenz:"Well, he IS!"
You can hear a distant mumbling in the room.
Greenie:"He isn't, he isn't!! Davy's sexy! Tell them, tiny!" (she points in the direction of Mr. Jones)
Roo:"Davy? *bluergh*!"
Nev:"Can I please have an autograph, Mr. Nesmith?"
(Mr. Nesmith doesn't react at all)
Big Bird:"Why does he hate me? Why did he sue PBS? Now Susanne is gone!"
Wolle:"Where did I leave my honey? Have you seen it, Gwen?"
Gwen:"I don't care where your honey is, as long as Micky is sooooo near to me!"
Victoria:"But Mike, I can't lie in court. You ARE sexy!"
Mike:"Vic, you can do this! For me! You are my witness, wouldn't that look a little bit strange if you would take their position? You gotta do it!"
Judge:"Everybody calm down now! *ahem* Who is your pleader, Mr. Nesmith?"
Mike:"I´m defendin´ myself, I do!"
Judge:" So, let´s start the trial!"
Barrister Dolenz:"I call up the accuser, Miss Roo!"
(Roo takes place in the witness chair and promises to tell the truth, and nothing but the truth!)
Barrister Dolenz:"Miss Roo, please tell us your reasons for sueing Mr. Nesmith!"
Roo:"Oooooooooooooh... (Roo talks about Nez´s nose for half an hour) ...And his shiny, black hair! So thick and long! And his nose!! His sideburns! And his mouth, his lovely mouth! And his noose!! And his arms, these long, strong arms with all that black hair! And the nose! His thinness, god, the way he walks and talks, the gracefulness! And did I mention his nose?"
(talks about Nez´s nose for another half an hour!)
Wolle (sighing):"I wanna cover him in honey...if I only could find it!"
Judge (to Roo):"Hold it! I think we got your point. One question: are you sure you mean the guy sitting over there?"
(points to Mike)
Mike:"Hmph."
Judge:"Have you any questions to the accuser, Barrister?"
Barrister Dolenz:"No, Sir!"
Judge:"How about you, Mr. Nesmith?"
Mike:"Nope."
Judge:"Thank you, Miss Roo."
Roo:"But his nose, I didn´t tell you all about his nose!"
Barrister Dolenz:"I call up witness nr. 1, Miss St.Matthew!"
(Mary walks past Mike, winks at him and runs into the dock)
Mary:"H-hi!"
Barrister Dolenz:"What is your opinion of Mr. Nesmith´s sexiness?"
(Mary sighs deeply)
Mary:"Oh, just LOOK at him! Look at those sideburns...(everybody in the courtroom looks at Mike in search for the sideburns)...that body! He's the most beautiful thing I've ever laid my eyes on! And his ears, look at his ears! These earlobes, they are made for sucking! And his butt, his legs, his whole body is so damned sexy!
(receives a grim look from Nez)
Mary:"And these grim looks, they're sooo sexy!"
Nev:"Can I pleeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase have my autograph now!"
(Mr. Nesmith again doesn't react at all)
Judge:"Hold it! I think you've proved your point,too! Do you have any more questions, Barrister Dolenz?"
Barrister Dolenz:"No, Sir!"
Judge:"And what about you, Mr. Nesmith?"
Mike:"Nope!"
Barrister Dolenz:" I call up witness nr.2, Miss Fuzzy!"
(Fuzzy walks up to the witness stand and sits down and starts talking immediately)
Fuzzy:"I agree to everything, but I'd really like to point out the nose again! He's got the most beautiful big nose I've ever seen!"
Roo (yelling):"You tell them, Fuzzy!"
Gwen(shouting over to Micky):"Did you know I was learning some basic law in my apprenticeship?"
Greenie (scribbling frantically every word said on her notepad):Yeah, that is kinda groovy, I gotta admit!"
(Mike touches his nose in puzzlement)
Victoria (whispering):"Yeah, I think she means that nose, babe!"
Fuzzy:"And his hands! I wanna feel them on my body! Everywhere! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"
Wolle:"Me too!"
(Fuzzy stands up, runs over to Mike and throws her arms around his neck, closely followed by Roo and Mary, Roo jumping on his back and Mary embracing his legs)
Judge:"Order, order, may I have some order, please!"
Davy:"Oh, pizza, bagels and cream cheese, please!"
Barrister Dolenz:"Don't do that!"
Mike:"MMMMMMMMMmhhhhh!"

That's it for now folks! Will Mike survive!? Will he be pleaded guilty of being too darn sexy? Will Davy get his pizza? Will Roo stop talking about the nose? Well, tune in next Wetnezday to find out!

Part 2:
Davy Jones, Barrister Dolenz and Peter Tork jump up and each of them grabs one of the girls: Peter grabs Mary, Micky grabs Roo and Davy Fuzzy.
Judge:"Now that everything is under control again, can we please go on with the trial??"
The three Monkees try to bring the three girls back to their places. This isn't as easy as it should be because they are not letting go of them.
Barrister Dolenz:"Cool down, baby, we gonna get him!!! Cause he IS sexy!"
Roo:"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I saw his nose and I lost control! It won't happen again."
(Roo sits down again)
Peter:"I just don't know why all these young girls want him when they could have me!"
Mary:"You mean I can have you??"
(sits down dumbfounded)
Davy:"Hey, honey, want to have a bite of my pizza? IF and WHEN it arrives!"
(Fuzzy sighs deeply and stumbles back into her seat)
For a moment they are all sitting peacefully on their chairs. Suddenly Fuzzy starts to hop up and down her chair.
Fuzzy (squeaking):"Davy invited me to eat pizza with him!"
Mary:"This is not the right time for a Davy-fit."
Fuzzy:"I'm thorry!"
Mary:"F*#% the establishment!"
Peter:"YES!!!! That's my girl!"
After everybody calms down again the judge summarizes the statements of the witnesses.
Judge:"I summarize the statements made by the witnesses. Most of all we all now know that the defendant has got a very beautiful nose. He is also said to have shiny, black hair and sideburns. Other things pointed out by the witnesses are his earlobes, his hands and his skinny posture. So, Mr. Nesmith, what do you have to say to your self-defense?"
(Mike looks up and down himself and simply points at himself.)
Mike:"Well..."
Judge:"Well, I guess that tears it! I think we can shut the case down now. The defendant is not guilty!"
Barrister Dolenz:"Nononononononononononono!!! Wait a minute there! The accuser and my two witnesses would be more than glad to point out the sexiness of Mr. Nesmith today! So, I ask to testify Miss Roo, Miss St. Matthew and Miss Fuzzy once again!"
Judge (rolls eyes):"Do I have any other chance?! Okay, Mr. Dolenz, go ahead!"
Barrister Dolenz:"I call Miss Roo in the witness stand again!"
(Roo walks up to the stand and promises to tell nothing but the truth, yet again.)
Barrister Dolenz:"What do you think of Mr. Nesmith today?"
Roo (clears throat):"Let me say that as far as I am concerned the case still stands. So he isn't *that* thin anymore but I don't care. (points to Mike) Look at that cute lil gut on him! Why I just want to run over there and tickle it until Mr Nesmith giggles and I bet you would as well, right? (winks at Nez)...(Nez gives her a "what's-the-matter-with-you?"-look) And hey, the nose is still there. As big and honky and sexy as ever...Hey, you know what they say about noses!?...ah, well, nevermind. As for the hair. Can I just point out how elegant and refined his gray hair makes him look!? Oh my, I just want to sit at his feet and listen to him muse on and on and on...and then some more. (wipes brow with hankey) Just don't mention the Council On Ideas or I'll pinch you! On the tummy. Or the nose. Have you SEEN his nose? I would like to kiss it and give it a little suck, just a small one. I don't care if he wears socks with sandals and I don't care if the sideburns and the beard are gone, by the way Mary can tell you more about those, Mr Nesmith is still "darn sexy" in my book and anyone here is free to read some of that book. (takes out her book) Now, the first chapter is all about his nose. Here I have listed the Top 20 Nose Moments from the TV show and with Your Honours permission I would like to read some of them..."
(Judge orders Roo to be dragged away from the witness stand)

Will Roo get to read from her book? Will Mr. Nesmith have to giggle for being pinched in the stomach? Will Fuzzy get a bite of Davy's pizza? Will the pizza ever arrive? Will Mary and Peter hit it off and rebel against the establishment? Tune in next Wetnezday!!

Part 3:
Judge:"Alright, alright, can we go on, please? But no nose anymore, I'm warning you!"
Barrister Dolenz:"I call Ms. St.Matthew into the witness stand for her testimony! Ms. St.Matthew, please!"
(Mary sinks down in the chair and stares at Nez for about 2 minutes.)
Barrister Dolenz:"MARYYYYYY!!!" (snips fingers)
Mary:"Oh, yeah. Well... (sighs) What can I tell you? He is just the symbol of masculinity."
(Mike sniffs contentedly)
Mary:"Look at him. I said look at him, will you?"
Nev:"What do you want, I'm looking at him all the time! What about my autograph, buddy?"
(Everybody else turns to Nez, who looks a bit uncomfortable.)
Mary:"He looks so strong and silent!"
(Wolle breaks into hysteric laughter.)
Mary:"He is so big and so intelligent! You always feel at ease when you look at him, because he has got total control! That's what his karma is about, control and power! And I'd LOVE to see him lose control... Aaaaawwwww... Oh, sorry. But isn't that what makes him sexy today? All the wisdom? The wisdom of how to hold a girl, how to kiss her, everywhere, how to run his hands over her body and touch every spot of her, his tongue running up and down my throat, then his soft, drawling voice in my ear, whispering that he wants to...
Judge:"WILL YOU STOP IT, PLEASE??? This is a courtroom!"
Mary:"Oh, I'm so sorry, sir! But this is how it is, his presence just does that to me, and if this doesn't imply that he's sexy..."
Davy:"You know, Barristah Micky, that girl is right!"
Barrister Dolenz:"I know."
(Mary leaves the chair, throwing a sorry look at Nez, who is looking slightly bewildered.)
Roo:"Why didn't you mention the nose?"
Greenie:"I don't think he's gonna win, if Fuzzy keeps that up... DAVY!!! HEEEEELP!!!"
Peter:"And I thought we were gonna #*~§ the establishment!"
Judge:"I hate to say it, but we have to go on."
Barrister Dolenz:"Ms. Fuzzy, would you please be so nice and come to the witness stand?"
Fuzzy:"I'd love to!"
(Fuzzy walks up to the witness stand but is stopped by Davy)
Davy:" 'ello luv! I am thorry our pizza hasn't arrived yet. But would you like a piece of Cadbury milkchocolate instead?"
(Fuzzy squeaks and with shaking hands she takes the chocolate)
Greenie:"Perhaps Mike has a chance after all, if Fuzzy gets a Davy fit right now! Heehee."
Mary:"Don't let him distract you! Think of Nez!!!"
(Fuzzy still stands in front of Davy and stares into his big round eyes)
Mary:"If you don't stop that now, I'll force you to watch all Florian eppies!" (Writers' note: Florian is the one responsible for the bad German translation of the Monkees episodes and unfortunately Mike's German voice and Fuzzy can't stand him - and that's putting it mildly!)
(Fuzzy squeaks again, but this time out of horror. She shakes her head, puts the chocolate in her mouth and walks to the witness stand)
Barrister Dolenz:" Tell us your thoughts!"
Fuzzy (still munching):"Hm, this chocolate is really delicious."
Barrister Dolenz:"On Nez!"
Fuzzy:"Oh! Okay! I am not a friend of big words but I just have to point out his no... (the Judge glares at her) ...that big thing in the middle of his face again."
Roo:"Yeah, that's my Fuzzy! Sock it to me!"
Fuzzy:"Oh, I want him to kiss me like the eskimos do! And his hands, they haven't changed, I still wanna feel them on my body. I want him to caress up and down my... (sighs deeply) And who the hell cares that his hair isn't black anymore, I still wanna trace my hands through it, make it all fuzzy (giggles at her own joke)... and stroke along the non-existent sideburns. Oh, those beautiful non-existent sideburns. Awwwwwwwwwwwwww! And I realized that nobody mentioned his eyes before. Those eyes! Those brown eyes! Those deep brown eyes, one can get lost in them. Those eyes, which at this very moment look very ashamed at the floor. Don't be ashamed, Nezziepoo, it's not your fault that you are darn sexy. Grrrrr..."
Victoria (sighs):"She is right!"
Mike (under his breath):"Shut up!"
Fuzzy:"And have you ever seen a guy looking so dashing in a suit and a geeky tie? I wanna tie him up with one of his ties... tie him up right on the bed post!"
(At this comment Mary sinks unconsciously to the floor. Peter runs to her and pulls her up. He pats her cheeks. She slowly opens her eyes)
Mary:"F*@# the establishment!"
Peter:"That's my girl!"
(Mary realizes who is holding her and faints in Peter's arms again)
Fuzzy (impatiently):"Can I go on now!? Where was I? Oh, in bed with Nez!"
Judge:"Hold it, young lady! As I said before this is a courtroom. Please go back to your seat!"
(A sulking Fuzzy obeys)
Greenie:"Shit! She kept it up!"
Roo:"I think we got him, gals!!!"
(At this Mary awakes again, Peter puts her back on a chair, which is not an easy task, cause she holds on to him, then she realizes that everybody looks at her)
Mary (still a bit weezy):"I agree to everything, yeah!"
(Then there is loud knock on the main door)

Who will be at the door? Will Nez be tied up on the witness stand by Fuzzy? Will Davy's chocolate be stolen? Will the word nose be banned? Will Nez's nose be banned? Is Nez really strong and silent?
Due to a lack of Mary and Fuzzy (the authors ;)) the next two Wetnezdays will be cancelled! See you in three weeks!
Oh my, we wonder what Mike's punishment will be! Grrrrrr! If he is pleaded guilty that is, but who doubts that, heehee!

Part 4 (finally):
Judge:"Come on in!"
Pizza Guy:"Hot and cheesy!"
Davy:"Oh!"
Judge:"Who are you?"
Davy is running up to the pizza guy.
Davy:"With a lot o' cheesa?"
Pizza Guy:"Just as you wanted it!
Barrister Dolenz:"We're asking for a dismissal!"
Judge:"why?"
Barrister Dolenz:"Because everybody is hungry!"
Judge:"Alright... Thirty minutes break!"
The people in the court stroll over to the cafeteria. Sitting down on a big table, pairs begin to form.
Davy:"Eh, you want a cheesy piece?"
Fuzzy looks on the pizza which is full of cheese everywhere.
Fuzzy:"Anything, as long as you're ho-, er, it's hot!"
Davy:"'ere you go, Honey!"
Roo is sitting down, staring at her cof o'cuppie.
Roo:"That noooooooooooooooooose!!!"
In the meantime Wolle is talking frantically to Victoria.
Wolle:"Vic, you can't let him do this to you! If you think he's sexy, you have to confirm it! You're emancipated!"
Victoria:"But I can't let him down, he depends on me!"
Wolle:"He loves you, he should understand!"
Roo:"His nose!!!"
Peter:"So, have you seen the movie JFK? That's just what this damned system is all about! It's rotten! You just have to fight it!"
Mary:"Yes, fight the future!"
Peter:"Mary, would you help me blow up the white house?"
Pacifist Mary looks into Peter's puppy dog eyes and forgets about all her ideals at once.
Mary:"Yes! I mean, yes! I'm gonna blow you, er, blow up anything you want me to!"
Roo:"Haaaaaaaaaaaa... Nose!"

What will happen next? Will Davy and Fuzzy get lost in a sea of cheese? Will Roo faint into her coffee? Will Victoria resist Wolle's feministic speech? Will Mary and Peter get to buy dynamite? Visit the S.U.N. next week to find out!

Part 5:
Nev:"It is really easy Big Bird! ...four, FIVE, SIX..."
Big Bird:"...four, fix, sive...?"
Nev:"More or less!"
Roo:"That no-ose...!"
Gwen:"What did you do to your hair?"
Barrister Dolenz:"What do you mean?"
Gwen:"I mean, where has it all gone??"
Roo:"Nose, nose, nose!"
Greenie:"Look at her! (points to Fuzzy) She claims to be here because she says you are too sexy and now she is drooling because of Davy. Typical, that is."
Mike:"I, myself, am deeply jealous."
Greenie:"Me too!"
Roo:"Drool...oh yeah...nose!"
Davy:"One for me!"
He sticks a piece of pizza in Fuzzy's mouth.
Davy:"One for me!"
The next piece of pizza lands in her mouth.
Davy:"And finally one for me!"
Fuzzy:"Waiph a minute..."
Roo:"I never thought I could have such a close look at this nose!"
Wolle:"Come on Vic, say it, say it! My Mike is sexy!"
Vic:"My Mike is sexy! MY MIKE IS SEXY!!!! YEAH, HE IS!!! Sorry, darling!"
Roo:"And his nose, that's the sexiest thing on the man!"
Peter:"Well, first of course we have to evacuate all people out of the White House. I mean we don't want to harm anyone..."
Mary:"Couldn't we put Don Kirshner in? I'd like to harm him!"
Peter:"Won't work, we tried it all!"
Roo:"Jeff Geddis! ... Ooops!"
Nev:"Look, here are six pieces of sugar! It is really easy, try again!"
Big Bird:"Pic seizes of sugar, yeah! It is easy!"
Nev shakes her head in resignation.
Roo:"Gimme a N... gimme an O... gimme a S, gimme an E!"
Gwen:"Did you keep some of your hair?"
Barrister Dolenz:"Well... do you want my ponytail back?"
Gwen (with a horrified look on her face):"Oh no... it is okay as it is! Really!!!"
Roo (takes a sip of her coffee):" Eeeek! Man, that is cold!"
Greenie:"You know, I will vote innocent! Cause I really don't think you are sexy!"
Mike:"W-w-w-w-wh-wh-why would you say such a thing?... Ohhh, goooood!"
Loudspeaker:"May the ladies and gentlemen and chickens please return to courtroom A to continue the trial Miss Roo vs Nesmith!"
Back in the courtroom.
Roo (speaks out loudly):"Couldn't we go on a food break, I am hungry!"
Everybody slaps their hands in Mike-mode on their forehead.
Roo:"What?"

Will Roo starve? Will Micky grow new hair? Will Big Bird learn to count? Will Mary destroy Don Kirshner? Will Fuzzy toss her pizza backwards? Will Victoria speak her mind? Who will Mike's witnesses be? Find out next week on Suesday cause the first witness will be up in the witness stand then!!!!

Hey there, we KNOW we promised to update today, but LUCY WILL DIE TONIGHT and Carterpoo gets hurt *scream* *cry* *sobsob* and we're really not in the mood for sueing Nez now, sorry! Next week, okay? Gotta go now, cry our eyes out... See you on FryDavy.

Part 6:
Fuzzy (holds out a stripe of gum to Roo):"Gum?" (sorry, kids, INSIDER ;))
Roo takes it.
Judge:"Order, order, may I have some order, please!"
Davy:"But I am full!"
Judge (glances at Davy):"Let's go on with the trial! I wanna get you all out of my courtroom as quick as possible!"
Mary:"BWACK!"
Mike takes Victoria to the side and pursuatively tells her:"Okay, now, you just have to say that I am in no means sexy. You understand!! It is easy. I am not sexy, do it for me, darling!"
Vic:"But...!"
Mike:"No but, just do it!"
Vic:"Okay, Mike!"
Judge:"Mr. Nesmith, would you now please call up your first witness!"
Mike:"I call up Ms Victoria Kennedy, my beautiful partner in life, right, Vic?" (gives her *the look*)
Victoria takes place in the witness chair, bla bla.
Judge:"Ms Kennedy, for how long have you been together with that man?"
Vic:"15 years, Sir!"
Barrister Dolenz:"And you don't think he's sexy?"
Vic:"Well..."
Barrister Dolenz:"You're his girlfriend for 15 years and you don't think he's sexy? So what attracted you to him at all?"
Wolle:"That he's sexy, for Pete's sake!"
Peter:"For Pete's sake what?"
Fuzzy (to Mary):"This is getting heavy on insiders, you know!"
Vic:"Well, you know, erm..."
Wolle:"Remember what I told you!"
Mike:"No!"
Fuzzy and Mary:"Ah!"
Vic:"Haaaaaaaaa... I... I didn't... I don't know..."
Judge:"I tell you to make your statement now! Is your partner sexy?"
Vic:"I... I..."
Judge:"IS HE SEXY???"
Barrister Dolenz:"Victoria! Is he sexy?"
The Chickies:"Say it, say it, say it!"
Vic:"He... is..."
Mike:"Victoria! Will you marry me?"
A collective gasp from everybody in the courtroom.
Barrister Dolenz:"I object, your honor-will-do!"

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuh! What a cliffhanger! What has come over Mike? Will Micky's objection be overruled? What will Victoria say? Will we get to see a wedding? Will Fuzzy cry? Will Mary be flowergirl? Who will be the best man? Is there gonna be a buffet? Will Davy get hungry again? Tune in next FriDavy!

Judge:" I order you all to go here , otherwise I will have to throw you out of the courtroom!"