The Crush
by Snapesgirl1981

Email: snapesgirl1981@yahoo.com.au
Rating: PG-13 – this part
Summary: It is generelly not a good idea to dream in your classes- especially if it is Potions with Professor Snape. WIP about a crush that develops into something else completely.
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter
Feedback: I try to write more but I am sure that some reviews would make me write faster. Also please note that I am not british, not even a native english speaker and this is my frist HG/SS fanfic so far. Be kind.

A/N: In this story Hermione is 17 years old, finishing her last year in Hogwarts and so are Harry and Ron. The generell Rating of the story goes for some graphic language and mentioning of violence later, this part however is completely innocent. Enjoy!

Ronald Weasly made the mistake of peeking at his best friend Harry Potter one to many times and couldn’t surpress something like a snicker. He was trying to pay attention which was always a good idea in Snape`s potion class if you didn`t fancy spending the evening down here again due to some detention and that was for sure not the case with him. Probably for nobody.

He looked around and his eyes rested on his friend Hermoine Granger. Well maybe she. Usually she was busy taking notes as Snape drooned on about the potion of the week but right now she sat in her chair next to a slowly panicing Neville Longbottom, her half raised quill spilling dark color on her parchment and seemed to be lost in thoughts. No dreams. Her eyes seemed to follow the tall and dark clad form of Snape through the room and a dreamy smile lit her features.

Shuddering the red haired boy turned his head again to Harry. It looked like she was sorrowly enjoying herself but not really because of the gained knowledge these two hours meant but because she actually enjoyed seeing Snape.
> How sick is that?

Snape was mean, always trying to deduct points from Gryffindor and his hair was greasy. What could Hermione possibly see in this old git?

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`Why had she never noticed?` was all the while rambling through Hermione`s head. Noticed how handsome her potion teacher was. How much the black hair and wardrobe complimented his pale skin and how tall he actually was. How much his dark eyes seemed to invite you to sink deeper and deeper.......

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„Miss Granger!“ He tried to give his voice a most intimidating sneer to get the obviously deep in thoughts girl to notice him.

Startled brown eyes and a quick blush was an indication that he had been successful. Merlin, the girl was most infuriating at times. And what was she looking at? She couldn’t be possibly looking at him with these dreamy far away expression?

„Mis Granger, while I understand that maybe the subtle art of potion making maybe down right boring for some dunderheads I would appreciate if you at least appeared like you pay attention. Having to ask you a simple question more than three times is a clear indication that you are not.“ His breath was warming her left ear as he hissed. „Twenty points from Gryffindor for not paying attention.“

As he turned away from her table he almost thought he saw her shudder and then it appeared again- the dreamy smile directly into his direction.This know-it-all can`t be looking at me. She wouldn`t, surely. Would she?

Another quick glance told him she was. What was he to do about this girl? Should he talk with her? Confront her with the suspicion that the she had a crush on him. She was only 17 so and so far; not many girls had fallen for him- at least no students. Try as he might he wanted to make it as easy for her as possible. Why was that? She was a Gryffindor. Why did he, Head of Slytherin, care?

It was a couple of weeks later right after christmas. Hermione was still her dreamy thoughtfull self, Snape seemed even meaner than usual, deducting house points for basically everything these days ( Fred had suggested it was probably because the potion master hated christmas and made them pay for his crappy mood ) and Ron was watching his best friend more closely these days. It really seemed like Hermione Granger, lover of books and late night studies in the library was interested in Snape of all people!

When he tried to talk about it with Harry the brunette boy seemed clueless. Ron cornered him in the dormitory catching him just before a quidditch practise. The other boy seemed reluctant to even discuss the matter.

“What would make you even suggest such a thing! Hermione is definitly not in love with Professor Snape.”

Ron lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling.

“I tell you Harry- there’s definitely looking on her part. She looses more and more points in every potion class because she is not even paying attention. And what’s worse- she doesn’t even care. There was a time when loosing points would have been a major tragedy for her.”

Sighing Harry turned around with his broomstick in his hand and walked to the door.

“I still don’t see it. Why would that necessarily mean she is in love with Snape? It could be all kinds of things that are bothering her. Maybe she is in love with somebody else?”

Ron shock is head viciously.

“You should see her face Harry! She looks at him like he is the center of her universe and everybody is noticing. I bet even Snape has noticed by now. And she doesn’t care.”

It was clear from Harry’s expression that he wanted to leave but then again this was obviously bothering Ron quite a bit.

“Okay. Even if she was interested in Snape that way- and I am not saying that she is- why would that bother you so much? It’s possibly just a crush. And Snape would never in a hundred years respond to that kind of attention. Not from a Gryffindor. Not from Hermione.”

“But can’t you see it’s plain sick! Snape is not only Head of Slytherin but he is- Snape. Evil, sneering, greasy Snape. He hates her, at least once a lesson he insults her one way or other. What would she be seeing in him?”

Harry had a pretty good idea what Hermione saw in Snape but had no intention to tell Ron.

“Are you in love with her Ron?”

The red haired boy looked almost disgusted.

“No. I love Mione sure but in love? Are you loosing your mind Harry? I am just worried!”

Harry believed him. As usual Ron tried to protect Hermione.

“Let her be Ron. She will come around. There is no way in hell Severus Snape would ever fall for a Gryffindor.”

The boys shared a quick grin and then left the room together to go to training.

The library was quiet this afternoon. No wonder so since it was the first days of spring with actual sunshine outside and almost everybody was out there relaxing somwhere on the Hogwarts grounds. Almost everybody except Hermione. She was sitting in the back of the library next to the restricted section her head burried in a thick old book about sleep potions with several others still on the table in front of her. The only thing you could see was her bushy brown head and every now and then she scribbled notes furiously on a sheet of paper. The only other person in the library leaned against a book shelf nearby and watched the girl with something bordering on amusement.

Which was rare for Severus Snape, Potion Master and Head of Slytherin, and generelly considered evil by all students- and some of the teachers. He was wearing as usual his black robe which made his skin in contrast seem even paler.

Typically Gryffindor know-it-all.

It was the first day without rain and the only persons in the castle were professors. Every student was outside probably causing all kinds of mischief he was sure. Why was she here still working? She had top marks in all her classes- even in potions so he tried in vain to change that. Every assignment that she handed in was flawless, every potion she brew was perfect and even all her answers were accurate. The only way he could deduct points fom her was when she helped this totally talentless boy Neville Longbottom or for ‘showing off’. It was quite frustrating most of the time and if he was really honest with himself, which mostly he wasn’t, he admired her. She was clearly one of the brighest students in Hogwarts in years and the real problem was not that she was Gryffindor. No truly not. Even so possibly nobody knew it Severus Snape could even respect a brilliant mind in another house. Had done so in the past. The reason why he disliked her so much was not even Potter. Even so he sincerely disliked the boy and his sidekick Weasly. He might have been able to live with that.

No it was the girl herself. She was not only smart but also a decent person. The way she smiled could lit up even the dungeons when she stepped into the classroom there. The way he just knew she was looking at him with barely concealed sympathy. And compassion. Nobody was allowed to pity Severus Snape. She was probably the only person except Dumbledore who thought that he was a good person inside. He both dreaded the mornings he had her in class and longed for them.

He hated it.

Shifting his weight from one leg to the other he tried to make out what book she was reading. Tilting his head to the side he read the title. Sleep potions? So she was studying for his class tomorrow. He had given them an assignment about the differences in sleeping potions and the possibly anitdotes which no doubt would be done sloppy by most and give him the oppurtunity to give out bad marks to no end. But of course not Hermiones Granger. No she was sitting here preparing the assignment with her usual care. It would be perfect again.

How he hated it.

With grace he moved a couple of steps to her table until he stood directly in front of the girl without her noticing. He carefully sat down opposite from her and leaned back. Still she was engrossed in the book and had stopped taking notes.

That was possibly the worst about Ms Granger. She was sincerely interested in the sublject. She wasn’t only working to get good marks but because she enjoyed the lessons.

He sighed softly wondering again why she wasn’t out there with Potter and Weasly creating no doubt chaos.

The soft sound was enough for Hermione in the silence of the room to drop her book soundly in surprise. Her eyes scanned the room alarmed and then rested on the professor sitting on her table.

“Professor Snape?” Her voice was high and she tried to hide her shaking hands under the table.

As usual the professor noticed.

“Ms Granger.” He let the word linger in the room to scare her a bit more. “Tell me why are inside here when everybody else is not?” His voice sounded silken with a bit of amusement thrown in.

The girl blushed and looked down.

“I had to finish my assignment Professor.”

Snape grinned devilishly. “Twenty points from Gryffindor.”

“Why?” Her eyes flew back to him and he saw a flicker of anger in them.

Snape sneered and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Because you were slow. You should have been able to finish it before. Since all your classmates are outside I figure they have already done so. I deduct the points for laziness.”

Now the flicker had turned into a raging fire.

“But the date to finish it was tomorrow. How can you deduct for that?”

His voice was soft like a caress.

“Because I can.”

Without looking at her he got up and made a few steps. Then her voice held him back. It was soft as if not meant for his ears.

“Why do you hate me so?”

He slowly turned around and to his horror he saw tear in her eyes. Covering his emotions behind the mask of the evil bastart he sneered at her.

“Because you are you Ms Granger. That is the only reason I need.”

With that he left and the tears began to fall freely down he cheeks now.

“I love you for the same reason.”

Outside Severus Snape leaned against the door frame and listend to the girl crying inside. One phrase repeating itself over and over in his mind.

I love you for the same reason.

The stupid girl.

The next morning at breakfast Hermione was silent to say the best. Her eyes looked puffy and red and she sat over her plate not touching one bite. She had worked all night in the library on her potion assignment and had gone straight to her room this morning to shower. All through the night she had broke out into tears remembering the harsh words and the expression in her professor’s eyes- clear disgust. He hated her and not because of anything she could change but because she was herself.

Harry noticed her sullen expression but chose to not comment on it. From experience he knew that Hermione would talk with him when she felt ready and to push her meant only to make her angry without reason. But he was worried by now since Parvati had told him that Hermione had been in the library all night and only returned this morning.

A quick glance to the head table showed him that Snape looked not his usual self as well. He hadn’t touched his fool and cast blazing glares to everybody. The morning would start with potion classes and Harry inwardly groaned. Snape with a good mood was already hell. This way he would surely get detention for something like breathing. He had a feeling that Snape’s bad mood had something to do with Hermione’s puffy eyes. But what exactly he could not tell.

In that moment Snape looked into their direction and as usual his eyes darkend when he saw Harry. Well that resentiment went both ways Harry thought. But then something really weird happened. Snape looked at the sunken figure of Hermione and something entered his eyes. Something like compassion. But within seconds it was gone and he looked defiantly into Harry’s green eyes his dark depth filled with anger.

Neither Snape nor Harry noticed Albus Dumbledore’s concerned look into Hermione’s direction and the amusement that filled his eyes when they rested on his potion master.

After breakfast Ron and Harry had to push Hermione to make her get up and follow them to the dungeons. Even Ron didn’t comment on her untypical behaviour and simply cast worried glances her way. They made the way in silence until the reached the door to the classroom. For a moment it looked as if Hermione hesitated to enter but then her shouldered straightened and she followed Ron through the door.

Snape was already there leaning against his desk his eyes resting above the students heads somewhere on the backwall of the room. He appeared like he was severely bored and only Harry noticed the quick glance into their direction.

The lesson began shortly after with Snape giving them instruction on how to brew one particalur sleep potion and everybody was taking notes. Everybody except Hermione. She sat in her chair and looked nervously into Snape’s direction. He didn’t comment on it neither did he comment on the fact that she clearly wasn’t paying attention. He drooned on and on without looking into the Gryffindor’s direction once. Especially Neville seemed to be relieved and was even able to arrange his ingredients in a correct manner.

Slowly the tension left Hermione’s body and from sheer exhaustion she fell asleep right on her desk burrying her face in her arms. Harry and Ron were so busy taking notes that they failed to recognize until Snape’s look fell on them and darkend.

“Mr Potter. Maybe you want to wake up Ms Granger so she can join us in the joy of brewing that potion.” His voice dripped with sarcasm but the normal venom was missing. He didn’t even deduct points for falling asleep.

Harry gently shock Hermione awake and helped her with her ingredients. Strangely Snape didn’t comment on it once due to the fact that he seemed to ignore them at all. He sat behind his desk marking papers while they worked on their cauldrons.

More and more frequently Harry glanced at Hermione with worry. She wasn’t paying attention, simply adding the ingredients in the order they lay there, her eyes fixed on a point somewere above the professor’s head. Harry was pretty busy since he not only had to help Hermione but keep Neville from blowing up his cauldron. Usually when they were finished they tried out their potions since Snape mostly had an anitdote ready but today he had announced that they would simply brew them and were not to try them. It was most surely due to that why Harry heard a slump all in a sudden and when he turned around he saw Hermiones laying next to her cauldron bleeding from her head.

“Professor Snape!” Harry knelt down besides his best friend and was soon joined by the potion master.

“What happened here?” Snape’s voice sounded like he would loose his temper in a second.

“She tried the potion.”

Snape glared at him. “I told you not to.”

Harry simply shrugged his shoulders not knowing what to say in Hermione’s defence and confronted with Snape’s anger.

After checking that besides the small cut on her head she was alright and only sleeping Snape looked up and the snickering from the Slytherins stopped at his furious glare.

“Malfoy. Tonight seven o’clock you can look forward to two hours detention. All of you leave now so that I can brew the antidote to wake up Ms Granger. Leave!”

Hurriedly the students fled the room to not get another detention.

Sighing Snape picked up Hermione, tried not to notice how she snuggled to his chest and carried her through the door into his private chambers. He crossed his living room and stepped into his bedroom which was of course completely black. Gently he laid Hermione down on his satin sheets and tried to make her at least somewhat comfortable. It would take him over two hours to brew the antidote and for some reason he wanted her to feel good in that time.

He got some ointment from his bedside table and applied it on the girl’s head instantly closing the cut. He hesitated but then got up. No use in kneeling here longer when he should brew that potion.

In the doorway he looked back on the girl and groaned. She had curled up hugging one of his pillows and her hair was spread out on his bed. She looked like an angel. Absolutely breathtaking.

You old foolish bastard!

She would never be his, not when she was a student and not even sixteen yet and surely not later when she would leave Hogwarts to forget all about a pityful excuse for an Ex-Death Eater and Potion Master. Best not to dwell on it.

But somehow he knew that that would be almost impossible.

It took Professor Snape over two and a half hours to brew the correct antidote to Ms Granger’s sleeping potion. He would swear later that it was because he had to get some ingredients from the nearby hospital wing but in reality it was because he found himself standing in the doorway to his bedroom a couple of times staring at the girl as she slept.

Finally he added the last ingredient, some simple lavender, and filled some of the potion into a vile carrying it to the sleeping girl. Again he hesitated kneeling next to her on the floor.

He called himself all kinds of fools but still he remained kneeling there and looked into her face now partly hidden from her curly hair. In sleep she looked relaxed and almost a bit like she was contently smiling. Her cheeks were flushed for some reason and she had turned in her sleep so she was facing him now instead of hugging the pillow like she had done before.

Tentatively he put his hand on her cheek and almost instantly pulled it back. Her skin was warm and so soft like you were touching the purest of silk. Her cheeks felt smooth and almost against his will he touched her again this time lingering there. His senses were in overload from this simple physical contact and he put the vile on his bedside table using his other hand to tangle in her hair.

The hair was soft and he brushed some of it off her face delighting in seeing her neck. It was creamy white and bowed down to a wonderful curved collarbone. Having completely forgotten the antidote Severus could only follow his heart since his mind had called an angry good-bye after he had completely ignored it. He bend down a bit and the faint scent of vanilla and orange drifted into his nostrils and as he closed his eyes his senses were over washed with the way she felt and smelled.

After what felt like an eternity he opened his eyes and could only wonder why he had never noticed how peaceful it looked when she breathed in and out and how sensual her chest moved up and down. Softly chuckling he cupped her cheek and bend towards her only one thought registering in his mind.

I want to taste her.

Without thought his lips carefully brushed against her soft cheek and again he lingered. Somewhere inside obviously his brain had decided to come back and was raging. But he hadn’t finished this yet. Now that he had the chance he wanted to taste her completely. He wanted to know how it felt to kiss her. He knew he had no chance in real life but he would use this once in a lifetime chance the fates had blessed him with.

With the slightest of movements he moved to her lips and slowly as if not to wake her he lowered his mouth on hers. The jolt that went through him was pure bliss and he could even taste some peppermint in her mouth. It felt like all his senses were focusing on this little point were their lips met and he almost died of a heart attack when she slightly moved her lips in sync with his. If he hadn’t been so distracted he might had realized when Hermione opened her eyes and the tiny movement in her body as she adjusted to his lips.

Severus knew that something wasn’t the way it was supposed to be but then when she opened her lips granting him entrance to her mouth he quickly lost that thought. Following his character her took possession of the kiss and passionately moved his lips above hers caving inside her mouth with his tongue exploring each and every corner of it. All Hermione could do under this assault was to surrender to it and be swept away by a wave of passion and love. In this moment heaven was only a fraction away.

A splintering sound interrupted the complete absence of reason and the two pulled apart. In his haste to cover her body with his Severus had pulled down the vile and splashed the content on the floor.

Looking into his eyes Hermione saw a hundred things mixed together. The passion she had just felt, horror at what he had done but also barely concealed disgust.

“Out.” His voice was quiet but it shock with rage.

For a moment Hermione considered simply pulling him back but a look into his now stormy eyes told her that this was indeed the easiest way to make him snap now.

What was I thinking. That he loved me, had feelings for me? He hates you and will always do so and this was just- lust.

Tears were again threatening to fall and without another word she scrambled of the bed and stormed out of the room.

For a whole minute he stared at the space where she had just laid on the bed beneath him and then he furiously took up the vile and smashed it against the wall.

Fear had been in her eyes. Of course what else. It probably scared her to death that you took advantage of her like this. If she had a fragment of a feeling for you now it is destroyed. You old foolish idiot.

And then before he felt the hot tears in his eyes he sprang up and left the dungeons as well storming through the corridors.

Damn her to hell! Damn her for making me feel! Damn her for turn my heart from stone to flesh and damn her for making me hurt like this!



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