Four Times Trouble
by Birgit Staebler
(mac@gno.de)
 
It was a mess.
There was no other term for it.
A complete and utter mess.
Megatron stood in his office, peripherally noting that the door closed almost soundlessly after him, staring at what should be a close to spartanic office space featuring a desk, chairs, computer consoles and shelves. All was still there, but a lot had been added. Some of those additions were countless small, multi-colored balls, plush toys, strange objects with jingling bells on them and a mysterious construction that was either modern art or a hideously twisted cage. Either way, it was standing in the middle of his office, obstructing his way to the desk. Carefully stepping around the objects on the floor Megatron approached the center of the disaster area. Something squeaked mournfully as he took another step and he flinched back, canon already aiming at the offensive .... plush teddy bear. He hissed dangerously and kicked the bear into the next corner.
What had happened here?
He had been gone only for three days! -- which seemed to be three days too long! Megatron had needed this absence from West Central, mainly because his ever-present furry shadow, also known as 'Sparks', had decided to multiply. Four kittens had haunted his days and nights ever since and finally he had surrendered, leaving his office and entertaining himself somewhere else. Somewhere as far away from the cursed cat as possible. The decision had come after the incident with three kittens getting stuck in his fusion canon, which he had left lying on his recharge bed for only a minute. It had taken a can of oil and some serious shaking to get them out. And because the stunned critters had recovered so quickly, he had had to clean up the paw traces of three oil-stained kittens later.
Megatron had thought the problem of the kittens solved when he returned, but far from it as it seemed now. Clearing his desk with a sweep of his arm, watching toys and other assorted foreign objects clatter to the ground with a satisfied expression, he wondered once again what he had done to deserve the Nuisance. Sparks had been trouble from the first day forward and the trouble had never stopped. She was annoying, pesty, a pain in the circuits and too mouthy for his own liking and her own good. Small as she was, she talked back to him as if she had the superior fire power. And maybe she had. At least her mouth had. Megatron had never met anyone so readily jumping into a verbal argument with someone wielding a highly powerful fusion canon and several times her size. Amazing.
And then she had actually dared to multiply, bearing offspring. It had been a dangerous experiment, one under the supervision of Ralyk, no less, and it had spouted four small cats, two furry as their mother, two metal, one looking suspiciously like a red Ravage – which had finally led to the realization that Ravage had played no small part in this troublesome development. And Megatron was stuck with the family of annoying cats.
Now he thumped his terminal into operation and waited for the 'ready' message. Out of the corner of his optics he saw the remains of a small service droid, the one used to crawl into the smallest tubes and service them. Another victim of the furrballs. Logging himself in he finally paged Maintenance, requesting their immediate presence in his office. The Cybertronian on duty ducked and acknowledged, knowing only too well that this meant Sparks-related office damage. At least he didn't need a new monitor! But that could change.
Surveying the disaster around him Megatron frowned. He had to find the Pest and give her his piece of what he thought this was, though he knew he would most likely lose the argument – as always. Still, he couldn't just let it go. If he did, she might do something worse next.
Stalking out of the office, Megatron tried to think of the most likely places the family of cats might be when he heard chuckling and strangely child-like voice – voices he recognized! -- coming from one of the several multi-purpose rooms on this level. He approached it and stopped dead, shocked once again this day.
The room was occupied solely by Decepticons, some of his best warriors among them. Astrotrain sat on the floor, legs crossed beneath him, grinning a silly grin. A furry little four-legged creature was purring ceaselessly as he petted it, playfully tickling the kitten with his index finger. Ramjet stood not far away, chuckling as he played with another kitten, who was chasing a rubber toy on a string. Divebomb was giving lessons of flying in theory to the winged off-spring of Sparks, who sat on a table, watching the Predacon with a serious cat-face. Scavenger was equally busy keeping the fourth kitten occupied with a mechanical ball. Sparks sat on the second table in the room, keeping a watchful eye on everything, Ravage at her side.
Megatron didn't know what to say. His warriors entertaining furrballs! Enough was enough. He stormed into the room, pleased to see most of them jumping up in surprise, looking actually embarrassed. Astrotrain picked himself up and, holding the kitten in one hand, continued to pet it.
"What is going on here?!" Megatron thundered.
"Uhm...." Ramjet stuttered. "We are .... we were...."
"Helping me with the kids," Sparks interrupted calmly, her emerald optics resting on her 'owner'.
He glared at her. "You are keeping my warriors from their duties!" he hissed.
"This is our off-duty time," Ramjet protested, quickly adding, "Mighty Megatron."
The intense glare still fixed on the hapless Decepticon. "I will see to it that such a thing like 'off duty' won't happen to you again any time soon," Megatron promised darkly.
Ramjet winced.
"Now back to you!" Megatron swiveled his gaze back on Sparks, who didn't even give him the pleasure of flinching under the heated optics. "What in the name of Cybertron happened in my office?!"
Sparks' brow furrowed, then she shrugged. "Nothing much."
"Nothing *much*!" Megatron screamed. "It is a disaster area!!"
"It is a room marked by the presence of a cat family," Sparks corrected him pleasantly.
The other Decepticons around her moved back as Megatron homed in on her. "It is a place where four brainless rejects wrecked havoc on the furniture!" he hissed.
One of Sparks' ears twitched slightly. "You are talking about my kittens," she told him, still calm.
"Yes, indeed! And I want my office cleaned and back to its original state within an hour!" he demanded.
"If you give me your canon, I will of course turn it back into the shooting range it was before. Including a destroyed monitor and a molten chair."
The others moved back even further. Sparks didn't even seem to tense.
"Listen, fuzz face, I don't want to see your wretched little demolition team anywhere near my office ever again!" Megatron demanded. He glared at Ravage as well, then he turned and stormed out of the room.
Divebomb, Ramjet and Scavenger exhaled, Astrotrain kept on scratching the kitten he still held. Ravage shot Sparks a questioning look. She met his red gaze and smiled.
"Say, how large are Soundwave's quarters?" she asked pleasantly.

*

Soundwave was patient. He had nerves of steel and an unreadable face to match it. He had survived the Cybertronian War, he had survived the return of the Quintessons, he had survived the Tji Wars, but he wasn't so sure he would survive this. He had always been a loner, almost automatically keeping away from the others and also almost automatically shied by his fellow Decepticons because of what he was. Some found him impossible to interact with, others were freaked out, again others interacted as long as necessary and then continued their own way. He accepted it. It was his life. Only the cassettes, his 'children' were closer, understood what Soundwave was, understood his connection to CyberSpace. He shared his quarters with them, though they mainly recharged inside him.
Lately, as in 'the last week', he had found his quarters occupied by more than himself and the cassettes. Now there were four young robots, four cats to be correct, playing, sleeping, playing, and feeding, in there. And with them trouble had moved in as well.
Soundwave had been mildly surprised by the presence of the cat family, but Ravage had simply explained that his children needed a safer place to stay than Megatron's office. That was more than logical, given Megatron's aversion to Sparks. He had agreed that the kittens could stay – as long as they kept out of the CyberSpace link pads installed all over the room. The pads enabled Soundwave to easily slip into the well-known virtual reality without tapping into his own resources. The first day had been spent getting used to the small robots, especially the winged one, Xanadu, since he was still trying to figure out what to do with his wings. Sparks had disappeared, declaring that Ravage, as a contributing factor to the litter, could take care of the bunch for a few days while she got a rest.
The second day Soundwave was on duty in the communication's control room when a call came in.
"Soundwave?" That was Blitzwing.
"Yes?" he answered.
"I think you want to come down here to Tube 5," the other Decepticon said ominously.
"Explain."
"One of your cats caused a jam among the transport droids and Hook just left for med bay because he was rammed by Mixmaster as he evaded the cat."
'His cats'?
Soundwave was surprised for a moment, then sent an affirmative, walking down to the newly constructed Tubes, an automated system able to send or receive goods from outside. There was indeed a traffic jam, several of the squat droids piled up on each other as they had come to an emergency stop. Mixmaster stood to one side, shaking his head, and there was a Hook shaped indention in the wall. As Soundwave entered, all optics fixed on him.
"Where is it?" he simply asked.
Blitzwing pointed at the small Ravage look-a-like, Maverick. The kitten looked back innocently, apparently unaware of what it had caused.
"You better keep him on a leash," Blitzwing advised. "One lively little critter."
There it was, Soundwave thought. He had heard the tone in his comrade's voice. Everyone seemed to like the kittens, whatever they did and whoever it was. Autobot or Decepticon, there was no open hostility toward the small cats, except when it came to Megatron.
As if he had heard him, the com line opened and Megatron's clearly furious voice demanded his presence. Soundwave scooped up Maverick, who didn't struggle much, simply stood erect and proud on the palm of his 'transport', Soundwave's fingers curling slightly around him. Maverick was watching everything with interest from his now higher vantage point. As Soundwave arrived at his leader's office door he heard a screech, clearly of cat origin, then the loud bang of a discharging fusion canon. The door swished open, something whisked past him and Soundwave faced one very furious Decepticon leader.
"I thought I had told her never to return here ever again!" Megatron raged. "At least not with those hellish little bastards!"
Soundwave looked past Megatron and had he had a more expressive face, he would have arched an eyebrow. Megatron's office was crisscrossed with what looked like woolen strings or very flexible wires, creating a large are of trip wires. Megatron had apparently walked into this mess, had gotten tangled up and landed flat on his face.
"Since they are staying with you, you lock them up!" Megatron now demanded heatedly. "If even one single whisker appears in my general vicinity, I'm going to have them scrapped!"
After a glare at Maverick, the door was closed with as much fury as was possible when facing a sliding door that wouldn't bang, and Soundwave was left alone in the corridor. He looked at the kitten in his hand, then simply walked to his quarters, secretly dreading what he would find there.
 

Soundwave opened the door to his quarters and was greeted by the flapping of large wings, a terrified screech and something banging into his chest plate. There was a small 'thump' and Xanadu sat at his feet, looking dazed and more than a little bit frustrated. His wings were splayed out all around him.
"Meowtwip!" he declared.
Soundwave sighed silently and picked up the winged cat in his other hand. He placed them on the desk where Xanadu now started to rearrange the much too large wings.
"Ravage, Rumble, Frenzy, Ratbat, Laserbeak, eject!" Soundwave now ordered and the five cassettes followed promptly, transforming and either standing or hovering before him.
Fuzz gave a happy purr and bounced over to her father, rubbing her head against the black metal of Ravage's chest. Laserbeak landed beside Xanadu and gave him a critical once over, while Rumble and Frenzy were suddenly surrounded by Maverick and Red, demanding attention.
"What's up?" Rumble asked while scratching Red between the ears. Red purred happily.
"Keep an eye on the kittens," Soundwave ordered. "They are not to leave the room, under any circumstances." He shot a pointed look at Ravage.
"Sure, boss," Frenzy piped up. "No problem."
 

Twenty-four hours later he was ready to revoke that statement. Keeping an eye on the four young robots and keeping them out of trouble was worse than guarding a sack full of energon fleas! They were all hyper-energetic, running around, chasing each other, poking their noses into the most unlikely places in the room, and Xanadu was taking lessons from Laserbeak and Ratbat, trying to fly in a narrow space. Frenzy felt like popping a coolant vent and Rumble simply sat in one corner, watching Red and Maverick chase a toy with fascinated horror. Ravage sighed deeply as he surveyed the scene and sent out a call to his off-spring. They looked up from their various games. He told them to behave and received meowing protests. Fuzz tried to pounce on Ratbat who was just fast enough to lift off. Her next victim was Frenzy. He gave a groan and tried to flee the little predator, but no such luck.
Ravage simply sighed again, hoping that the personality circuits of the four young robots would soon straighten out. As long as all connection were not yet made, they behaved like children. They learned, they played, they tried out things no 'grown up' would even think of daring to do, and they trained. In a way Ravage understood Megatron's fury, as well as Sparks' tired remark that he should fulfill his 'father's' duties and watch the litter for a while. It was nerve-bending and straining.
He hoped Sparks would be back soon.
 

"Meow!"
The plaintive wail came from high up in the modern artwork decorating the main hall and Frenzy wondered how Red had managed to climb it. It appeared slick, without any real grip, and the twisted parts were too far apart to reach for such a little robot. Then he discovered the claw marks and moaned faintly. Grapple would be furious. He had just finished this new piece of expressionistic art – though Frenzy had no clue as to what it was or should symbolize, and frankly he didn't care – and claw marks were not what had been planned to adorn the structure. Neither was a young cat.
"Turn your back on the little devils and they end up in the worst situations," he muttered.
Just three hours ago, Rumble had had to free Fuzz from a drainage tube in sector 5 in which she had tried to crawl, following one of the service droids. She had gotten stuck and in the end they had called Inferno to help them out with their little problem.
Now....
Frenzy winced. He wouldn't call for help, no! He could do this very well all alone on his own without embarrassing the hell out of himself. Getting out one of Red's favorite playthings he waved it up in the air. It jingled faintly.
"Come, kitty-kitty-kitty," he tried.
Red gave the toy a glance, then 'meowed' again, clinging to a rose-colored extension of the strange piece of art.
"Come on down, Red," Frenzy coaxed, still dangling the toy. "Come to uncle Frenzy."
Red stayed where he was, wailing.
Frenzy sighed and wound up the jingling toy, placing it onto the ground. It whirred away in small circles, tingling and clicking as well. Red stared at it, stretched out one paw as if to try and reach his toy, then sat back, wailing once more. Frenzy threw his hands into the air with an exasperated sigh.
"Okay, okay, okay, if you have to have it this way, I'm coming up to get you! Stay put!"
Without further thought of what he was doing, Frenzy started to climb the precariously balanced artwork, careful where he put his feet since the surface was truly slippery and polished. He lost his grip once or twice, but he managed not to slide down or fall off. Red watched his progress with interested optics. He had even stopped crying.
Frenzy was halfway up the distance to the kitten when Red suddenly stood and jumped down onto one of the lower branches of the surreal 'tree'. Frenzy stopped, surprised. Maybe Red was starting to get brave and tried to come halfway down so his 'uncle' could reach him with more ease.
Wrong.
As Frenzy changed direction and tried to get to Red's new position, the cat slid and jumped further down, overtaking him, finally coming to rest on the pedestal, smugly looking up to where Frenzy hung in open-mouthed disbelief.
"What the....?"
And then the statue started to sway, tilting dangerously to one side. Frenzy gave a squawk of surprise, clinging to one branch. By leaving, Red had apparently upset the balance of the thing and now Frenzy was really upsetting it further.
"Noooooo!" he protested as it tilted more and finally fell, taking the small cassette Transformer with it.
 

Jazz and Tracks passing by outside the art room heard a squeal, followed by a loud shattering crash, then censored cursing. A tiny shadow whisked out of the room as they approached and Jazz thought he faintly recognized a small cat, then his optics fell on the mess inside. Frenzy was just trying to get out of it.
"Oh, man, Grapple's gonna be on the rampage when he hears about that!" he exclaimed.
"He's is going to be on a killing spree when he actually *sees* it," Tracks added dryly.
Frenzy only gave a resigned moan and collapsed back into the remains of the artwork.

* * *

Megatron paced his office, unable to put a finger on why he was feeling so wound up. Work had been moderate in the last week, no more straining than a day out in the field and fighting renegades or Tji. Still, something was bothering him. He stopped and looked around his office. Everything was neatly cleaned, appearing as neutral as he was used to, totally quiet except for the almost soundless whirring noises of his own body and the occasional hiss of air escaping his vents. No blast marks, a miraculously still existent monitor that was actually older than a few hours, a clean floor, no cat hairs.
Disturbing.
Disturbingly alien to him.
Megatron clenched his jaw and his lips were a thin line. He didn't miss her! Not the least bit! How could his mind suggest something as preposterous as that? He was glad the pest was gone!
Really?
He shook his head angrily and flopped down on his chair, staring at the screen showing him a calming scenario of little fish swimming in a virtual aquarium. For some reason this annoyed him to no extent.
Megatron had kept track of the kittens and their parents through various channel and he had noted, with more than just a small satisfied smirk, that Soundwave was having the same problems of keeping the little pests in check as he had had. But Soundwave had then employed the help of his cassettes and miraculously only a few more catastrophes had befallen West Central at the paws of the four disasters. Maybe they had grown up, but that was too much to hope for. Hook, after checking the small robots briefly, had told him that it would take at least two Standard months for them to even out their personalities. It had been one of the dangers of actually reproducing, something no other Transformer had ever dared to even consider. But Sparks had and she had had help constructing the new body shells for the tiny sparks she was bearing.
He growled to himself and switched off the computer that had nothing new or interesting for him. Leaning back, Megatron dimmed his optics, trying to relax his circuits, but nothing happened. He was too tense to achieve even that.
A faint chiming made him aware of someone at the door. "Come!" he barked.
The door slid open, revealing the silver-blue body of a robot he knew all too well. Sphere smiled at him, the amused smile she wore most of the time, and her optics sparkled.
"I thought I'd find you here," she greeted him.
"It is my office, where else should I be?" he snarled.
She stopped in front of the desk and gave him a critical once-over. Megatron was aware of a faint scowl of disapproval.
"What?" he demanded.
"You are too tense," she remarked.
He snorted.
"Sparks has been gone for how long now?" Sphere asked casually.
Megatron tensed even more. "What kind of question is that?"
"A normal one." She smiled again.
"If you are implying that I miss her, you are wrong!"
"I'm not implying anything. But the changes since she left are quite.... obvious."
Megatron glared at her. "Good riddance to her and I'm glad the Pest is finally out of my feet!" Sphere's smile was beginning to seriously annoy him now.
"Of course." She perched herself on the edge of his desk and leaned slightly forward, amusement in her voice. "That's just what you keep telling yourself and one day you might believe it."
"Get out!" he exploded.
Sphere slipped elegantly off the desk and nodded. "As you command." Then she was gone.
Fuming, Megatron started to pace the room again, then finally left the office, angry strides taking him nowhere special, but scaring everyone who got in his way.

* * *

Blissful silence.
Peace and relaxation.
Sparks stretched languidly and yawned, turning on her back, letting the weak rays of the tiny sun tickle her belly. This felt so good! No one shouting at her, no one chasing her around the room, no one threatening her sanity. This was too good to be true.
And it was also feeling strangely wrong. Boring....yes, boring.
She sighed and cracked an optic open, looking into the Cybertron sky above her. She wasn't actually missing him, now was she? Her pet side maybe, but she had managed to subdue this annoying side to her personality quite well. And since she was also busy with her offspring she hadn't had any time to miss him, right?
Someone approached her place and she swiveled her ears, recognizing the faint sounds Ravage made, even though he was a noiseless predator. Others might not hear him, but her ears were those of a cat. She did. Still relaxing, Sparks sent out an inquiry as to how the kids were doing.
||Pestering my brothers|| was the amused reply.
Sparks chuckled. The kittens' personality had grown and it wouldn't be long until they were 'grown ups' but they were still able to drive everyone insane. And Xanadu refused learning how to fly by now. He rather dragged his wings along as he walked. Once again she wondered why Ralyk had decided to give one of her kids wings. She might never understand.
||But their personalities have developed|| Ravage settled down beside her. ||They still annoy everyone, though. Including Soundwave||
She smiled. ||Time to move back home, eh?|| she asked, using the same, soundless way of communication Ravage always did.
He gave her a mock-shocked look. ||Megatron will not be happy||
||Oh, but I think he will|| Sparks grinned.
Ravage said nothing, knowing she knew Megatron better than he knew himself, and that was one of the reasons why the Decepticon leader hated her so much. Still, there was a grain of truth there.

* * *

Sparks watched her litter assemble, noting the little changes in most of them. Maverick had a decidedly grown-up behavior while Red had developed an even bigger gleam in his optics. He was always up to no good and the cassettes, his uncles, had felt that in the week they had taken care of the kittens. None looked all too sad that the family was moving back into Megatron's office. Then again, Sparks thought, it was time to let them all live their own lives. She instinctively knew that though they were still full of youthful energy, they were ready to fend for their own. Looking at Ravage she knew he felt the same.
She smiled.

* * *

Megatron was aware of movement in his vicinity and he was immediately alert. His optics fixed on the small shadow as it moved along the floor, disappeared once, and then jumped onto his desk. Softly glowing green optics met his and he was once again stunned and speechless by this creatures abilities to break into his secured room. Then he immediately checked for the others but he couldn't find them.
"Don't worry," Sparks said. "They are not here."
"Where are they?" he asked, voice dark and full of angry foreboding.
"Out. Up and about. Dunno. Maybe looking for their own territory or a friend." Sparks shrugged.
"They....left?"
Sparks tilted her head. "In a way."
"They won't be back?"
"Can't say that. After all, they are family."
Megatron glowered at her, but as always it had no effect. Sparks gave him another grin.
"Aren't you glad to have me back?" she asked and flopped down on the notepad he had been working with.
His optics shot daggers at her and he simply shoved her off his work area, but not off the desk. Sparks simply made herself comfortable and purred softly.
Megatron groaned silently at the sound and tried to concentrate on what he had just started, aware of the cat eyes watching him, of the continued, rather calming purring she emitted.
Was he glad to have her back?
He frowned at the question his mind had posed.
No.
Liar, the mind voice chided.
He sighed and shut it out, but he couldn't shut out the feeling that everything was back to normal once more.