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SITE MAP: => Welcome > Geography > History > Things to see > Culture > Sporting activities > Community Services > Village life THIS IS DIPWYTCH!

DIPWYTCH REACHES OUT TO THE WORLD: As well as wishing to inform the world of the endless attractions of our village, and to keep all those with an interest abreast of local events, we want to make a real difference on the global stage. As a community, we wish to reach out and help those less fortunate than ourselves. Dipwytch wants to care and share. Please watch out for our charitable appeals. THIS IS DIPWYTCH!

DIPWYTCH BEARS WITNESS. Dipwytch first developed as a place of witness, and this tradition has continued unabated ever since. Wars have come and wars have gone but even today, Dipwytchians carry on stoutly bearing witness. THIS IS DIPWYTCH!

THE DIPWYTCH GUESTBOOK. Gossip with other Dipwytchians and friends of Dipwytch. view my guestbook sign my guestbook free guestbook THIS IS DIPWYTCH!

The Diplinks Digest: (Links to pages on life in our village) THE DIPWYTCH CREAMTEASER, A guide to Cream Tea traditions for visitors, (added 15.1.2005). DIPWYTCH GOES GLOBAL, The village hosts a world fair, (added 6.6.2004). THE SOCIABLE HERMIT, A dark tale from the days before Dipwytch was born, (added 29.5.2004). TUMBLE BUNNIES, A study of some of the wildlife around the village, (added 14.4.2004). THE DIPWYTCH BLOGGER. Live news and views frum deepest West Dorset, (added 8.4.2004). DORSET YEOMEN AGAINST RAMPANT SIN. The Stout Fellows of Dipwytch arise in the face of pornography, (added 27.2.2004). ADVENT EVE POST, Mr Paul Downman reports on the approach of Christmas in Dipwytch, (added 30.6.2003). DIPWYTCH FELLOWSHIP PARK, Plans are in place for futuristic developments in the village - (added 12.7.2003) LISTEN UP AUNT HERD. Troubles of the heart or head? Miss Herd offers advice to readers, (added 2.8.2003). THE WHEELS OF THE LAW. Law and order in the village, (added 29.8.2003). DIPWYTCH E-AGRIBUSINESS. A new experience. Interactive agriculture, (added 31.8.2003). THE FIRST ANNUAL DIPLYMPICS. The village goes sport crazy, (added 23.9.2003). OLD ANIMALS OF DORSET AND THE DINOSAURS OF DIPWYTCH. Paleontology in the village and county, (added 26.9.2003). GET FAR FROM THE MADDENING CROWD. Tourists stumble upon our charming village, (added 2.10.2003). DIPWYTCH: RENOVATE YER MANHOOD. Treat your penis to a facelift, (added 24.1.2003). THE UNIVERSITY COLLAGE O' DIPWYTCH. Fed up with traditional education? Get a degree the Dipwytch way, (added 22.12.2003). DIPMOCRACY. Who will Dipwytch send to Parliament? (long), (added 8.10.2003). THE DIPWYTCH ARTS AND CRAFT FAIR. Miss Herd reports on this important festival, (added 13.10.2003). SONGS O' FOOLSDOWN FARM. A poetic homage by the Bard o' Dipwytch, (added 13.10.2003). THE SPIRIT OF DIPWYTCH. A story for Halloween, (added 17.10.2003). OLDHAMS FARM CATALOGUE SHOPPING. Christmas gift ideas from Dipwytch, (added 21.10.2003). THE SMUGGLER'S OF DIPWYTCH. Things that don't make a sound in the dark, (added 25.10.2003). DIPWYTCH BY THE SEASIDE. Sun, sea and straw, (added 2.11.2003). DIPWYTCH MIDSPRING FREAK REST. November rites of spring, (added 10.2.2004). THE WATER FEATURE. A quick visit to Southeast Dorset, (added 9.11.2003). THE RANDY SHEPHERD EXPERIENCE. Skiffle and sex with Randy Shepherd. Satisfaction guaranteed, (added 14.11.2003). DIPWYTCH AND ROYALTY. Costumed drama in deepest Dorset, (added 27.10.2003). This is Dipwytch!

Welcome: Though perhaps seen by some as a small, sleepy, insignificant, rural backwater, the village of Dipwytch is in fact a dynamic, modern community; bang up-to-date for the advent of the twentieth century. We too have now gone 'on line'. Welcome to the Dipwytch Village Homepage; your one-stop internet venue for all the news, views and gossip about all things Dipwytchian. This is Dipwytch!

Geography: Dipwytch is in Dorset, southern England. The village lies about halfway between the great urban centres of Dorchester and Yeovil, though it's somewhat remote from the main road. The nearest major settlement is Upshot. If you study a map, we're about three and a quarter miles to the west. This is Dipwytch!

History: The name Dipwytch dates back to the infamous Dipwytch Trials of 1546. What is now the serene village pond was then the centre of terror. As the plaque by the bench recounts: "'Tis here that Foul Hearted Justice Jake did wot them poor wimins much harm." Sadly to our modern minds, the tribulations suffered by those unfortunate women were seen as popular entertainment at the time. People travelled from as far afield as Somerset and Wiltshire. This is what prompted the pioneer of our community, Mr Bill Pikeman, to establish the first hostelry, so as to cater for the needs of the spectators. Though the original building has long since gone, its spirit lives on in the name of the village pub today, The Poor Wimin's 'ead. Mr Ian Keeper and staff promise you a welcome in line with these traditions of hospitality. This is Dipwytch!

Things to see in Dipwytch: The village has developed hugely since the dark days of Foul Hearted Jake, and now offers many more peaceful attractions for visitors. The great city of London is easily accessible by train, if you first catch the bus to Dorchester, (Tuesdays), or Gillingham, (Thursdays). Or perhaps you'd prefer a family picnic in the scenic splendour of Stonehenge? It's only twenty miles away, so you could enjoy an invigorating stroll first. There are many other interesting places to visit, some of which can be reached within only a few hours by car. This is Dipwytch!

This photo, from the summer of 1546, shows 103 year old Widow Daisy Lovelace and her familiar. They were two of the first residents of the village. For a short while.

Dipwytch reaches out to the world: Dipwytchians are renowned in the village for their charitable endeavours beyond the parish boundary. In an effort to inspire other communities to think of global problems, I am pleased to invite readers to peruse the assistance we provided to one destitute multi-millionaire. We were honoured when he agreed to move into Coppers Cottage, although he has yet to arrive. The Lord's Blessings Rained Down Upon Tim McQuitty COULD THIS BE TRUE LOVE? Kenneth of Dipwytch courts Madam Enriquez of Manila (added January/Feburary 2004).

Culture: The range of activities, exhibitions and events available is breathtaking. Perhaps the theatrical highlight is provided by the village school players, who perform a nativity play every December. Our community can't boast a cinema, though The Poor Wimin's 'ead does have a functioning radio and television. The lively local music scene is unfortunately somewhat restricted since the bailiffs removed the jukebox. However, popular musical groups enjoy providing a 'let your hair down' atmosphere in the village hall. Amongst the star attractions have been the Yetties (1964), the Wurzels (1969 and 1985), and Ernie Peters and his Drifters (1994). The musical abilities of Mr Tom Steinway can be enjoyed every third Sunday of the month in Saint Marq de Sade's VI, the village church. FORTHCOMING HAPPENINGS---BE THERE OR BE ELSEWHERE---FORTHCOMING HAPPENINGS--- Fri 19th November, 1971, 2pm: Bring and Buy Jam Sale. Village Hall. Contact Miss Herd. Sat 17th - Fri 22nd May, 2003, round the clock: Ladies League Prayathon to benefit Bro Thomas of Togo and AFC Bournemouth, invoking Marquis de Sade VI. Village Hall. Contact Miss Herd. Sat 24th May, 2003, departing 7am: Tractor Treck to Cardiff. A few places are still available in the Dipwytch Up the Cherries! convoy. Let Dipwytchian voices steer AFC Bournemouth into Division Two. We did the business for Yeovil Town. Come on you mighty red and blacks! Tractor and Play-Off Final tickets available from Randy Shepherd and Ian Keeper in the pub. Thurs 10th July, 2003, 7pm: The Architectural Heritage of Dipwytch. An appreciation in words and photos. Exhibition and talk. The Barn, Foolsdown Farm. Contact: Wed 5th Nov, 2003, 8pm: The Grand Dipwytch Firework Festival. This year, the firework has been donated by Richard Meadows. The Village Green. Contact Randy Shepherd. ---HAPPY HAPPENINGS IN DIPWYTCH---BE THERE OR BE ELSEWHERE---HAPPY HAPPENINGS IN DIPWYTCH--- The village of Dipwytch is twinned with the communities of Zeal Monachorum (Devon), Goatacre (Wiltshire), West Bagborough (Somerset) and Madrid (Spain). This is Dipwytch!

Sporting activities: The lynchpin of our sporting scene is Mr Randy Shepherd. He is the captain of the cricket, football and tug-o'-war teams, as well as serving in many other challenging and rewarding roles. Amongst the recent football fixtures played by the AFC Dipwytch Dynamos have been away defeats against Cerne Abbas Giants (1927), Shillingstone Strollers (1971), Shillingstone scouts (1972) and the Shillingstone cubscouts (1973). Mr Shepherd is always pleased to hear from young (or young-at-heart) enthusiasts who are new to the area. This is Dipwytch!

Community services: As would be expected in a thriving, modern community, a full range of social services are available in Dorchester, (the bus on Tuesdays), and Yeovil, (the bus every other Wednesday). This is Dipwytch!

Dipwytch Bears Witness: Last month, thanks to the wonders of the internet, distressing tidings reached the elderly Mrs Hubbard. Her grandson had bought what she thought was a new television set. Imagine her surprise when, after switching it on so as to bear witness of her favourite daily drama, a piece of paper began to emerge from her also new flower stand. This was, so her grandson later explained, a printer, and the sheet of paper was an e-mail from Miss Blessing Kromah of Lagos. 17 year old Miss Kromah took the trouble to explain some of the tragic circumstances of her recent past. She wrote of both her parents perishing in a ghastly motor accident, and how her guardian aunt now sought to exploit her, rather than finance the continuation of her computer science studies at City Computer Technology College. At this point, Miss Kromah needed the equivalent of merely $185, and was confident that other benefactors would cover additional financial shortfalls. Pausing only to finish her afternoon tea and scone, Mrs Hubbard brought this e-mail to me. I read it and was deeply moved. The thought of this poor, suffering child was too much to bear. I sprang into action and began making telephonetic calls. I had soon won the agreement of both the village schoolmaster and the village scout leader, which is perhaps none too surprising, seeing as both hats are found upon the head of Mr Randy Shepherd. Pooling our responsibilities for spirituality, education and youth development into one pot, we resolved to discuss the situation with the main mover of the Dipwytch Ladies League, Miss Herd. It's with some measure of civic pride that I report the following: within the week, the whole village community was once more bearing witness. I informed Miss Kromah of this supportive solidarity, so as to lessen her burden of worries. She replied with aproppriat gritatude and unusual spelling, and mentioned the additional and urgent requirement of $5,000. It was with pleasure that I assured Miss Kromah that our witnessing would continue apace. Indeed, the members of the Dipwytch Ladies League surpassed all expectations. They commandeered the village hall for a seven day long Witnessathon. Soon, sponsorship forms were dropping through each and every letter box in the village. Astutely, Miss Herd had realized the possibility of maiming two crows with one stone. The Dipwytch Ladies League had resolved not only to support the unfortunate Miss Kromah. They would simultaneously raise much needed funding for the Isle of White Donkey Sanctuary. Upon being informed, Miss Kromah made known her thanks and admiration, and asked if we could send $500 immediately, mentioning some emergency or other. Miss Herd personally sent an e-mail of comforting and ersatz-maternal sympathy. All went much according to expectations until the Thursday evening. Mr Steinway had been discussing the possibilities of a charity cricket match with our sports administrator, Mr Randy Shepherd, in The Poor Wimin's 'ead. As is doubtless known, the effects of farmyard cider can be unpredictable on the novice, and Mr Steinway had neglected to make a prior acquaintanceship with this particular beverage. He hasn't been with us for long. I'm afraid Mr Shepherd didn't foresee the possibility that his jestful suggestions might be taken at face value. The Ladies League were surprised by the arrival of Mr Steinway in the hall, and delighted to hear about his impromptu demonstration of organ playing. They bore witness patiently, as he made his somewhat unsteady way up the steps at the side of the stage, and rummaged with his equipment behind the curtain. When he finally emerged, they were somewhat taken about by his state of undress and the nature of the demonstration he proceeded to give. At its climax, during his most original rendition of All Things Bright and Beautiful, there was much astonishment all round. Perhaps fortuitously, the enthusiastic applause and cries for more, which Mr Shepherd began from the rear of the hall, seemed infectious, for most of the membership of the Ladies League joined in. Except for Miss Herd. Who seemed less than amused. Mr Steinway passed out before attempting an encore. Friday saw the arrival of a further e-mail from Miss Kromah. She was most appreciative of our efforts, and wondered if we could see our way clear to sending $50 by something called Western Union Money Transfer immediately, or perhaps even five. This possibility will be looked into on Tuesday, during Mr Shepherd's visit to the metropolis of Dorchester. Rev Tobius Evans This is Dipwytch!

This page is a spin-off from How to become rich dotcom, which concerns my increasing fame and immense wealth. It's really jolly interesting. Some background information on the village of Dipwytch can be found here.