AUTHOR: Macx and Lara Bee

DISCLAIMER: not mine. Definitely not! I just play with them and hope I tread on no one's toes.

Author’s Voice of Warning (aka Author’s Note):
English is not my first language; it’s German. This is the best I can do. Any mistakes you find in here, collect them and you might win a prize <g> The spell-checker said everything's okay, but  you know how trustworthy those thingies are.....

ARCHIVE: yes

WARNINGS: none

TYPE: yaoi

RATING: NC-17

PAIRING: Touda/Byakko

FEEDBACK: empty inbox seeks emails <g>
 

We want to remind you that our take on the history of the shikigami, their lives etc. is purely our own. This is an AU! Nothing of this is supported by the manga in any way.
I hope you find it as logical and acceptable as we did.
 

It had been a week now since Byakko had been severely injured in a fight against a devil, but the white tiger had healed perfectly well. No scars had remained of the deep wounds and the cold that had been the key problem of it all had disappeared with the deep wounds.

It had been a week now, too, since Touda had returned to the palace of the wind shikigami, had stayed at his, had stayed with him.

A week.

Byakko had enjoyed every moment of the fire serpent’s presence, especially at night. Both men had made up for lost time, had lost themselves in each other’s closeness. It was an open secret as to why Touda was once again at Byakko’s palace, but except for a few looks, no one said or did anything. Byakko was a grown shikigami, a God, and if he saw fit to be with Touda, so be it. The servants had long since accepted the black shikigami as part of their lord’s presence.

#####
 

Touda leaned back against the headboard, enjoying the simple nearness of his lover. Byakko had snuggled against him, head resting on his shoulder, one arm wrapped loosely around him and Touda let his fingers run through the silky silver white hair of the tiger, absentmindedly caressing the tips of the ears and his neck.

Byakko made a soft little sound and snuggled closer, and Touda concentrated on the movie they were watching. It was one of those evenings where Byakko had cuddled up, had made himself comfortable, using Touda as a pillow of sorts, and they were doing nothing out of the ordinary. Touda wasn’t used to these kinds of moments just yet, but he was starting to enjoy them.

Something caught his attention a little later, a sound like a constant soft little rumble, and he realized Byakko was purring – something the tiger rarely did, only when he was really content. Watching his lover curiously Touda found Byakko had closed his eyes, his fingers were making little clawing motions and his breath was coming in shorter gasps.

What the…?

That was when he realized he was still caressing Byakko, stroking his neck with his fingertips – something the tiger seemed to enjoy immensely. Running his fingers over the exposed skin of the neck Touda let his hand wander deeper under the lose shirt, caressing Byakko between his shoulder blades and down his spine, noticing the little hitch in the breathing, the increasing in his purr or the way Byakko was almost clenching his fingers into his clothes. Byakko was clearly aroused – by something harmless like this?

And then Touda realized with awe and wonder how sensuous his lover really was, reacting to these gentle caresses far more intense than to his usual  - uh, rather wild and impatient rushing. Touda felt his heart sink thinking about it - gods, he had never even remotely considered the possibility to be gentle. He had always crushed Byakko with his own desire, sated when his own need had been satisfied and totally ignoring the fact that maybe the tiger might have had wishes of his own – simply because he usually came, too.

He had reached the small of Byakko’s back meanwhile, the point where the spine curved to form the long striped tail, and the moment Touda’s fingers ran over that spot Byakko shivered and made a whimpering little noise, burying his head at his shoulder and gasping into his robe. The long slender body seemed to melt against his and Touda could feel Byakko breathing harder against his neck. The serpent could now unmistakably feel just how turned on Byakko was by his caresses – and damn, if that wasn’t the hottest thing he had ever felt, too.

Touda let his other hand glide under the open shirt, sliding it off his lover unceremoniously, having Byakko press against him in all his naked glory.
The tiger made a surprised sound, red eyes opened in confusion, but before he could say something Touda just pulled him close, sealing his mouth with his lips – gently. Fingers carding through his lover’s long hair, he stroked up and down the nude back, making sure to hit every spot that had appeared to be hot -- and was rewarded with Byakko arching his back rather wildly into his touch, making a shuddering breathless moan when he touched that spot at his lower back again.

“…Tou…” he groaned.

“Sshhh… I’m sorry…“

“What… oh gods! … What for?”

“I never gave you the chance to feel this. You’re so sensitive, and I never cared before. I  have a lot to make up to you,”  Touda whispered, not stopping the caresses.

“This feels like a good start to me… yesss!”

Touda had one hand slide around Byakko and found a peaked nipple, teasing it carefully with his thumb, watching in absolute astonishment how Byakko moaned and panted because of it. Rolling them both around he was now kneeling between the tiger’s legs, looking down on Byakko.

The tiger was breathing hard, still purring, his eyes halfway closed, the white hair all tousled, and the evidence of how aroused he was was – well, evident. Touda shrugged out of his own kimono, bending forward and brushing a light teasing kiss over his lover’s full lips, feeling Byakko’s arms come up and wrap around him, wanting to pull him down onto him. But Touda pulled back. At the confused look Touda smiled, running his fingertips over the soft skin, noticing how Byakko shuddered. Pushing his hands under the other shikigami’s backside he yanked once, having the tiger halfway in his lap – with his legs spread wide.

The expression in Byakko’s face changed slightly and Touda understood what the tiger was expecting to come next – and usually he would have been right.

I used to fuck you, Byakko, he thought. But tonight I’m going to love you.

Gently running his hands over the now fully exposed body he saw Byakko close his eyes, his face mirroring his feelings. Touda leaned forward again, feeling their hardnesses brush against each other and it send a jolt of pleasure through his body – but to Byakko it must have been more. The wind shikigami moaned deeply, arching his slender body under him, meeting his lips enthusiastically.

Touda stroked and caressed his younger lover, and for the first time since they had come together like this, used his teeth and tongue, licking and nibbling at the sensitive spots at the other’s neck, working himself slowly further south, listening to the constant purr and moaning. Suckling at a peaked nipple caused a choked cry, fingers carding through his hair. Byakko was vocal, too, something he had never really noticed.

Well, how should I? Touda thought, usually it’s over at this point.

And who’s fault is that?

Pulling back again Touda used his fingers again, teasing soft thighs and wandering a little more up, but not completely. Byakko mewled, his legs falling apart even wider, and then he cried out again as Touda finally touched him. When the serpent let one finger slip between his legs and inside the lithe body, searching for that special spot, Byakko was almost ripping the sheets with is grip, bucking wildly under his ministrations.

“Touda… want you… want to feel you… “

“Your pant is my command… “

Preparations were made quickly, making the tiger writhe even more, and then Touda reached under the body, lifting Byakko that he was coming to almost sit on his lap. The tiger had to lean back, support his body with his arms behind him – which allowed Touda to touch wherever he wanted. Byakko wrapped his legs around his waist and groaned when he was entered slowly, whimpering and jerking when Touda hit that special spot  - and stopped. The serpent watched several emotions running over Byakko’s expressive face and he felt a wave of tenderness rushing through him.

“Touda, damn… stop teasing… need you…” the tiger almost wailed, and with a soft moan Touda took mercy on his lover.

He let them both sink down on the mattress and thrust inside the willing body, Byakko’s fingers in his hair, legs and tail tightly wrapped around him to pull him closer with ever move, hearing him sob and whimper in his pleasure. Suddenly Byakko sucked in a lungful of air, tensing up under him for a second before he exploded with a harsh scream, jerking wildly and pulling Touda with him.

The serpent rolled onto his side, careful as not to crush his exhausted lover. Watching Byakko lying there, naked, sweating and panting in the afterglow of their lovemaking he looked simply edible, and Touda couldn’t help reaching over and gently caress a flushed cheek. Red eyes opened lazily and the very next second Touda had an armful of sated tiger kissing him as if there would be no tomorrow.

“Hey, give an old man a minute, you insatiable satyr,” Touda murmured gently, closing his arms around the slender body.

“You’re not old,” Byakko muttered sleepily, “love you.”

Touda tensed – but Byakko was already sound asleep.

#############

Another week passed, and another. Touda was by now a part of Byakko's life, a known face, and the servants greeted him with the same dignity and respect they showed their lord. Part of him was not ashamed of admitting that it felt good, another wanted to retreat to his spot in the middle of nowhere, be alone, away from the crowds, away from GensouKai center.

“Are you okay?” Byakko asked one evening as they lay together after some snuggling.

Touda sighed. Of course he was okay. He had never been better ever since his imprisonment. He had thought Tsuzuki was his salvation, his only chance to redeem himself in his own eyes – he couldn’t care less about the others. But then Byakko had entered the picture so suddenly, without a warning. He had known the white tiger for decades, but he had never considered him as a lover. That had changed. Dramatically.

“I’m fine,” he murmured.

Byakko pushed himself up on his elbows and looked at him, red eyes serious. “You’re not.”

Touda sighed again. “Byakko…”

“Talk to me… please? Is it something around here? This place? Are you mistreated by the servants? Did Sohryu say something?”

He stilled the waterfall of words and smiled slightly. “Nothing of the above. I’m just… not used to this.”

“What? The palace? The bed? Me?”

“All of it,” Touda confessed softly. “My life, so far, has been… difficult.”

“I know,” Byakko murmured, sitting up. “I know. And I wish I could do something… anything…”

“You did enough already, Byakko, more than anyone.”

A mild frown appeared on the smooth features, but Touda stopped whatever the tiger wanted to say.

“I committed a crime, Byakko. My pardon was only given because of Tsuzuki. Your relationship with me is seen as… an offense of sorts. No one will say anything, but they will talk.”

“I don’t care. Sohryu can have it out if he wants to, but this was my decision. You are my decision. I stand by it.”

A curl of warmth spread through the fire shikigami. There was no denying the similarity between Tsuzuki and Byakko sometimes. Like now. Both would face incredible odds to follow their conviction.

He reached out to run a tender caress along the smooth skin of an arm. “You don’t know me, Byakko. You don’t know me at all.”

“I know enough.”

“You were a child in those days. Byakko…”

Red eyes showed annoyance. “I’m not a child anymore, even if you are all older than me!” he growled. “Don’t treat me as one!”

He pulled the slender form close, pressing a kiss on the handsome face. “I’m not. I never would. You’re not a child. I’m just saying that to understand why the others treat me as they do, you should learn about the past.”

“Does Tsuzuki know?”

He nodded. “Most of it.”

“Okay.” The tiger snuggled close again.

Nothing more was said, but Touda felt something inside of him clench for no reason.

####################

Byakko, for all his easy manner, his cheerfulness and his smiles, was a very serious person when it came to his job. He was the Protector of the West, one of the four Gods of GensouKai, and with it responsible for the safety and the well-being of all its inhabitants, especially the West. Yes, he could be playful, but he never forgot just who and what he was, what he represented.

The same was true about his relationship with Touda. No one could accuse him of going into it with his eyes shut. He wasn’t blind to who and what Touda was, what he had done, about his crime. He wasn’t blind and he wasn’t seeing everything in a pink haze. Sure, he was in love. He had never felt so intensely in all his young life, but hormones didn’t guide his actions – well, they did in bed and Byakko was insatiable when it came to the other shikigami.

Others might call him foolish for seeking a physical relationship with Touda, but he knew there was more to the black shikigami than the rest of the world wanted to believe. There was a lot more and he had seen it in those golden eyes throughout the days Touda had stayed with him after the almost fatal injury. And he had seen it in the way the serpent lived. Touda was proud, Touda was a loner, but Touda also secretly sought companionship. Byakko felt it whenever they lay together, in the caresses, the kisses, the simple pleasure of being close.

He loved Touda, he wanted him, he wanted to be close. He wanted to know about him, about everything that made him what he was, good and bad.
So it was only natural for him to look into what Touda didn’t like to talk about: the past. His lover had suffered for it, had been imprisoned, and Byakko saw no reason to needle him until he maybe clamped up completely. There were records of the wars and all the other times; all he had to do was read them.

#####

Byakko closed the big tome slowly. What he had read about the last war in the history book, the drawing he had seen – yes, Touda had apparently caused havoc and destruction of what the war had left of GensouKai. From what he could understand the war had been over, a peace contract was about to be signed – and then General Touda had lost it, falling into a berserk mode and burning the entire camp of the enemy, destroying everything and everyone who had been unfortunate enough to stand in his way, not able to tell friend from foe.

It had ended the war effectively, and it had needed all four gods and the emperor to stop him. Touda had been put under arrest and then sentenced to be imprisoned for his horrible crimes for the rest of his natural life deep within Tenkuu where nobody but his sole guard were to come near him, and even that man only had to feed and clean him, but not speak to him.

He had turned from an honorable divine general into a mass murderer.

Why?

Byakko had found no answers to this particular question, not a single hint. For everybody it seemed to be clear that Touda had simply lost his mind, had turned against his fellow shikigami in a moment of blind rage and blood lust.

In a split second?

Somehow Byakko had difficulties to believe that.

Well, there were ways to get his answers.

########################

The white tiger slowly stepped into the inner sanctuary of the palace after having the guards announce his wish to speak to the dragon. Normally he wouldn’t need an appointment, but the reason he was here felt too official. He felt a little anxiety curl in his stomach – Sohryu was a deeply occupied man, and somewhat scary. Not that he was afraid of the other God, but Sohryu had an air of authority around him that had been cultivated by centuries of leadership and experience. Byakko was a child compared to the other Gods, but no one aside from Sohryu made him feel like one. Suzaku wasn’t as old as Genbu or Sohryu, but she had fought in the last two wars. She was like a sister to him. Genbu was the wise old one, kind but fierce. Byakko wasn’t afraid of any of them, but he had a deeply ingrained respect for Sohryu.

The dragon was his prime choice to question about the last of the four wars. He had been there more than five hundreds year ago, had been the head of one of the war parties. If anyone knew what had happened back then it was him.

Byakko heard the door being closed behind him softly. Sharp blue eyes regarded him, then Sohryu made an inviting gesture to sit.

“Byakko. What is the matter?”

No beating around the bush. Typical Sohryu.

Byakko sat down cross legged, nodding his thanks. There was no need for protocol in here, and Sohryu most definitely knew that whatever Byakko wanted to talk to him about was a private matter.

“I want to know about the last war.”

“Ah, history lessons.” Sohryu nodded. “You weren’t but a child back then, weren’t you?”

“I was ten. I barely remember.”

“Fine then. What do you want to know?”

“Touda.”

There was a subtle change in Sohryu’s body language, his eyes hardening. “He killed. That’s all.”

“It was a war. You all killed probably. But…“

“Yes, we did,” Sohryu cut in, ”but he killed after the war was over. He killed more than fifty thousand, Byakko, and he was nearly unstoppable in his rage. He murdered.”

“That would imply intention, Sohryu,” Byakko argued. “From what I’ve read and what you just said he went into a rage. There had to be a reason. Why?”

“I don’t know. We never asked. It wasn’t important to us at that time.”

Byakko felt his jaw almost hitting the floor.

“You mean you sentenced him, sent him into a small cell, and he wasn’t even able to explain himself? Every criminal deserves a fair trial…“

“He wasn’t fair either!” Sohryu exploded. “Did he ask about all the people he killed, all the innocents? No, he didn’t. And if we hadn’t put a spell on him we wouldn’t have this discussion now!”

“You didn’t even ask,” he spat, “not once. What kind of a leader are you?”

Sohryu's face darkened dangerously. "I should ask you the same, Protector of the West! You are sleeping with him!"

"So what?"

"Stop it before it kills you, Byakko! Touda isn't one to make a difference between friend or foe. He will kill you one day!"

Byakko stared at Sohryu in disbelief.

"What gives you the right to interfere in my private life?" he finally demanded.

"Touda is dangerous, Byakko. You should know that as well as any other shikigami in GensouKai."

He bristled. "I repeat: what gives you the right to interfere in my private life?! It's up to me who I call a friend or who, for that matter, I sleep with!"
Sohryu scowled. "You are literally playing with fire, Byakko. You have no idea who this man is."

"Neither do you, apparently!" Byakko furiously got up, stalking toward the door. "At least I made an effort to get to know him! You are so high and mighty… you can't look past your own perceptions of what might be the truth!"

He had already reached the door when Sohryu’s soft voice called him to look back.

“He killed a God, too. He killed your father, Byakko.”

It was like being doused with ice water. The words echoed in his mind, mocking him.

No…

Byakko fled.

########

Byakko stood outside the monumentous palace, breathing deeply, trying to calm his frazzled nerves.

‘He killed your father.’

Byakko had never known his father all that well. He had been a child, almost a baby in shikigami terms. He had been ten, about Tenkou’s age, and his mind had been filled by games and fun. He remembered his mother quite clearly, but his father…? The Wind God had always been busy, had been everywhere but at home, and all Byakko remembered was a  huge figure, a deep voice, and a tail he loved to play with. No face, no special features. Just that.

Walking along the paths that snaked through the immense garden he arrived at the almost endless, covered bridge that crossed a huge lake and ended up on the other side of the body of water. Instead of following the bridge, Byakko walked along the shore and in the end he stood in front of the observatory, gazing up the impressive building.

Rikugo’s home.

Rikugo, who had been in the war as well.

Rikugo.

Byakko’s feet took him into the observatory, past the huge depictations of the stars, charts of the movements of the planets, zodiacs and other astrological things to the inner chamber and into the palace behind the impressive construction. He found Rikugo where he had expected him: his study.
The tall, blond astrologer was apparently deep in the study of a scroll, but when Byakko entered he looked up, smiling a welcome.

“Byakko. What can I do for you?”

“Got a minute?” the white tiger asked, gesturing at the scrolls.

“Sure. It’s nothing important.”

“I’d like to know about the war… about Touda. What happened back then, Rikugo?”

The older shikigami closed the scroll, face serious. “He killed thousands of people, Byakko. The history books tell the story.”

“I read the books. I want to know why he did it, Rikugo. What set him off?”

“I don’t know that.”

“But you were at his trial! You were there when they sentenced him to life in prison!” Byakko argued.

“I was there, yes. I heard the sentence. Touda never gave an explanation or a reason.”

“Because no one asked him,” Byakko snapped.

A mild frown adorned the otherwise smooth features. “No, no one asked him. Why do you ask these questions, Byakko? Why now?”

“Because I want to know.”

“I can’t help you, Byakko. I was there when it happened, but I don’t know why he did it. Maybe you should ask him.”

“Maybe.” Byakko rose and turned to leave. “Thanks, Rikugo.”

“You’re welcome,” was the mild answer.

#########################

Touda wasn’t at the palace. He wasn’t anywhere in GensouKai center and Byakko had looked everywhere the fire shikigami usually was. He finally decided to drop by the only place he could still think of – the cabin.

Byakko arrived at the little hut that was Touda’s ‘home’, noticing from the strong aura that the serpent was present. Nobody had answered his questions any further, not even Rikugo, and he felt deeply confused. So Touda had killed, had even killed his father, whom he could barely remember, he still didn’t understand why. Why? This question was running around in his head for days now. Nobody knew. Nobody had dared to stop and ask.

Touda had killed his father.

Damn if he didn’t have a right to know the reason.

Byakko threw open the door.

And was stopped by the cold blade of a dagger at his throat.

“Byakko! Are you suicidal storming in like this?” Touda’s voice rumbled as he pulled away the blade. “You know I can’t sense you properly.”

A soft kiss was placed on his lips, almost apologetic for the attack, but then Touda pulled back, seeming to have noticed his tension.

“Something wrong?”

“I need to talk to you, Touda. I need to know why.”

Touda made an inviting gesture and Byakko took it, sitting down on the futon that was spread in one corner of the cabin. He was still shocked to see Touda living that way. A steaming mug was placed in front of him and Byakko took it, realizing just now he was shivering.

He didn't know whether it was from the attack or from the knowledge, from Sohryu's words.

He killed your father.

“Why what?”

“Why did you kill my father?” Byakko blurted.

There was a sharp intake of breath from Touda. He turned away from him.

"Touda?"

“You know," the serpent said hoarsely. "I lost control over myself… he probably was among the unfortunate people who stood in my way and tried to stop me. I didn’t recognize who was who. I’m sorry, if that is of any help to you.”

“No, not really.” Byakko sipped at the tea, seeing Touda wince. “Why did you do it in the first place? What caused it?”

“You’re the first to ask,” Touda muttered.

“I hope I’m the first to get an answer. If anyone knows it’s you, right?”

Touda watched him from behind his visor closely, then shook his head sadly. “You really want to know?”

“Yes.”

"Why?"

"Because it's part of your past. It's got to do with who you are, why you are, and because it's the reason for this…" Byakko gestured at the visor, a sad expression in his face. "I want to know you, Touda. All of you."

The other shikigami watched him silently, then nodded. “All right.” Touda sat down beside him, eyes on the floor, and started to talk, slowly.

“As you have probably learned, the war was almost over. All that was left was to sign the peace contract. What you probably don’t know is the custom of sending over a hostage to the enemy during peace negotiations. The name of our hostage was Keijin. He was of high rank, that was common.”

Touda’s voice trailed off and Byakko felt his unease. There was something behind this story – and it was really, really bad.

“Keijin was a white dragon, a wind shikigami, but he was such a gentle soul. He loved life and… and he was too damn young to be in a war!” Touda spat.

Byakko decided to remain silent and just listen. For the serpent to react this emotionally there had to be much more.

“He didn’t have lizard eyes like the rest of us snakes and dragons; his were gray, and there was only a slight slit in the pupil. His eyes – they could dance like quicksilver or darken like a thunderstorm cloud with little silver lightning when he was angry or… they were so expressive.”

Byakko blinked confused. Nobody spoke like that of… a friend, maybe? But…

“The last time I saw those eyes they were broken, still reflecting the horror Keijin must have felt in his last hours.”

So the dragon had been killed – why held hostage?

“We were ready to sign the contract when I received a package,” Touda continued, voice levelly now. “When I opened it… it was Keijin’s head. I… I went to claim his body, and they sent me to where it was, and… it was still the way had had left it. They had tortured him to death, violated him, broken him. The… smell of their perverted pleasure was still fresh, still clinging to his dead body.” Touda inhaled deeply. “The next thing I know I was looking at Tenkuu’s walls from the inside of my cell. I didn’t know what I had done, I learned later that I must have run amok.”

Byakko swallowed hard, placing the meanwhile cold mug carefully on the floor, before he reached out to his lover.

“Who was he to you?” he asked softly.

“I loved him," was the honest answer. No hesitation, no shame. "Nobody knew that. Keijin was… he was the cool counterpart to my heat, he could soothe me, and he was so gentle, happy – he was so much like you. He was willing to put up with my temper, and one word of him was enough to cool me down. He was so young, barely twenty, and he…”

“He loved you?”

Touda nodded. “When I saw his battered body, realized what had happened… I felt something snap inside me.”

Byakko shook his head inwardly. “Nobody knows that?”

“No.”

“Holy – that’s…! You had a damn good reason. You were betrayed…“

“No. There is no such thing as a ‘damn good reason’ to kill so many innocents.”

“But Sohryu has to know, you have to tell him…” Byakko tried again.

“NO!”

Touda’s hand shot forward, fingers curling around Byakko’s wrist, and the tiger was able to see wide eyes behind the visor.

“Sohryu mustn’t know, ever.”

“What? Why?”

There was a short pause before Touda whispered an answer.

“Keijin was Sohryu’s firstborn.”

##########

Tsuzuki lay on his bed, tears streaming down his face unchecked, and he didn't even care. His whole soul was aching for his shikigami, for his friend, the one who was so very close to him. He had involuntarily listened in to the quiet words, had felt the emotions boil and dance, had felt the ancient memories return.
Touda had had no control over his side of the bond when he had told Byakko his story. He had projected unconsciously and Tsuzuki had simply sat and listened, horrified, pained and so incredibly saddened.

Like Byakko he knew now. The whole thing. The truth. No one else did.

But someone else had to.

Tsuzuki reached out along the bond and touched the inky blackness that was Touda's presence. The shikigami flinched, unaware of his open broadcasting.

//Tsuzuki…//

//Shhh,// he whispered, curling up next to him, holding him close.

Touda let him, his condition less than stable. He was actually trembling.

//I apologize// Touda murmured.

//No, it's okay//

No more words were spoken as shinigami and shikigami took strength from each other's presence, as Tsuzuki caressed and stroked over the stricken soul he was entrusted with.

######################

The news had hit Byakko like a fist in the stomach. He was looking at his lover, dumbstruck, unable to say something. Touda’s eyes were hidden behind that cursed visor, but from the set of his mouth and the way he held himself, he wasn’t happy either.

“I don’t remember Keijin,” Byakko finally said, breaking the silence.

“You were just a child,” the fire serpent murmured, lost in his dark thoughts, his memories.

Byakko knelt next to him, trying to catch the visored eyes, and finally reached for the other man.

“Touda? Thank you for telling me.”

The fire shikigami looked at him, the pain of the memories still visible. Byakko edged closer until he was right next to him, then wrapped a cautious arm around him. When Touda didn’t resist or pull away, he held him close.

“Why did you never tell anyone?” he asked after a while.

“Why should I? It doesn’t change the past. It doesn’t resurrect the dead.”

Byakko sighed. “No, it doesn’t, but it could ease some minds.”

A wry chuckle. “Like Sohryu’s?”

“Yes.”

“It won’t change anything, Byakko. Leave him his hatred of me.”

“Touda…!”

The other man pushed away, looking into the red eyes. “Byakko, it won’t change his mind. Sohryu hates me for killing his family, and rightly so. I got Keijin killed. I swore to protect him and I failed. He is dead, so is his wife. She died in my fires.”

“So did my father!” Byakko argued. “And I don’t hate you. I want the others to know the reason! No one knows, Touda. No one!”

“Leave it.”

“But…”

“Just leave it. It’s easier.”

Byakko inhaled deeply, angry, disappointed and feeling cheated for no other reason that he now knew and Touda wouldn’t let anyone else know.

“I love you,” he murmured. “I don’t want this hatred to continue…”

“You can’t change what has been fact for five hundred years.” Touda caressed him gently. “Let me guess… Sohryu would love nothing more than to see me leave?”

Byakko growled softly. “I don’t care what he wants. I chose you and I stand by you. I love you, Touda, with your past and everything. I won’t let the others destroy what makes me happy!”

Touda looked at him like thunderstruck.

“What?” Byakko asked.

“You’re an amazing man, Byakko,” Touda whispered, caressing his face.

Byakko gave him a cheeky smile and kissed him. “I know. And you got me.”

“Yes, I got you.” The serpent’s voice was quiet and he pulled him closer.

Both men lay together, Byakko enjoying the presence of his lover.

#####################

Tsuzuki monitored the developments in GensouKai with rising worry. Ever since the revelation as to what had happened in the past, what had launched the blood rage, the outbreak of destruction. He knew a lot about Touda, he knew what the fire serpent was like most of the time, but the deepest, darkest secrets had never been revealed. Lately, since the bond, things had trickled through from both sides. Tsuzuki was infinitely glad that Touda accepted him as he was, accepted the raw power inside him and countered it, and he did the same with his shikigami. He loved the black serpent, he would never give him up for anything, had fought the council for his release, his life…

The shinigami smiled a little. Yes, he loved his shikigami. All of them. He would defend them, protect them… do all they did on a daily basis for him.

Now he knew a little more about Touda and it hurt him so much to have his friend suffer from the memories. He had loved, he had lived, he had been happy, and the war had taken that from him. It had taken a life that had been the trigger for thousands of deaths, for animosity, for hatred, for despair. One life; Keijin. Sohryu’s son.

Touda had loved Sohryu’s son.

Touda loved Byakko.

And things were not good because of it. Sohryu was making Touda’s life harder and harder; not because of what he did or said, but because of the lack thereof. Ever since Byakko had openly stood by his love to the fire serpent, the dragon had started to behave… oddly.

Tsuzuki caught the reflections of it all through the bond, caught Touda’s pain that was so deeply underneath the proud and sometimes a bit arrogant shell. He was aware of how much his friend was trying and still failing, and he knew that despite the fact that there was a softer emotion Touda felt for Byakko, Touda would give him up should their continued relationship hurt the white tiger in the future.

It was that thought that finally mobilized Tsuzuki. He didn’t want either of his shikigami to be unhappy, but he knew that whatever happened, one would hurt, one would suffer. He couldn’t prioritize any of them either, but Touda was closest to his soul, was part of his soul. Byakko was his best friend. Sohryu… Sohryu was someone he deeply respected, loved with the same intensity he did all his guardian spirits, and he would hate to see him hurt in any way. All three were connected in a way that would transfer that pain wherever it started and Tsuzuki knew that it had to start somewhere.

Now.

And he would be the one to kick lose an avalanche of immense proportions.

I have to do it, he thought. I have to do something before it falls apart, before someone gets hurt for real, before either of them does something irreversible.

###########################

Sohryu hadn’t felt well lately. The Touda-Byakko affair was giving him sleepless nights, even migraines, and it was slowly eating away at his control. Why Touda, Byakko? he asked silently over and over again. Why him? Why not anyone else? Why the traitor?

The headaches had been his constant companion and they were getting worse. Every time he saw Byakko, he thought of Touda, of the relationship the Protector of the West had with the fire serpent. With a mass murderer. It increased the hammering and pressure behind his eyes, and it made him even more irritable.

Things had changed in GensouKai. From the day Tsuzuki had entered their lives, things had begun to change, and they had taken a leap with the Touda’s acceptance. Why Tsuzuki had insisted on giving the criminal a chance was anyone’s guess; Sohryu had never gotten a straight answer out of him. And then there was the bond, like a final affront. Though, in the new light of the fact that Byakko and Touda were lovers, that paled considerably.

How could the other God choose such a person as Touda?

Sohryu sighed. Did love really make one blind? In Byakko’s case that was a definite yes.

There was a little shiver running through him and he felt something tickle his senses.

Tsuzuki. He had arrived in GensouKai. Sohryu, like all of Tsuzuki’s shikigami, was highly receptive to their master’s presence, something that was unheard of from other pairings. They all knew Tsuzuki was special, was different, and Sohryu had slowly found out more about their master than he would ever have dared to dream of. Yes, he was different. Very much so.

He had them all, all twelve Divine Commanders, and he had an innate power that made his own look pale in comparison. Sohryu had felt it once before, had touched the surface, and shied away. It had nearly torn him apart.

Now Touda was balancing that power, was the one who gave Tsuzuki access and control. The one they all feared was closest to their master.
Rising from his chair. Sohryu sighed softly, as he felt Tsuzuki approach.

The doors opened.

The last person he had wanted to see now was him. Dressed in his usual black suit, tie askew, hair tousled, looking younger than his twenty-six years, the shinigami had walked into his palace, past the servants and guards who wouldn't dream of stopping him, and into his private quarters.

Sohryu sighed.

He had spent a lot of time here lately. All his office work was done from inside the most inner sacred walls and none of his assistants or servants would dare to ask why their lord no longer graced them with their presence.

Tsuzuki hadn't come alone, Sohryu noticed with faint desperation. Byakko had accompanied him and the young God looked both resolute and furious. Looking at Byakko, Sohryu saw a lot of the tiger's father in him, but also more. Byakko wasn't his father. He had also never known him.

"Tsuzuki," he greeted the new arrival, then nodded at Byakko.

Violet eyes met blue ones and Tsuzuki's features showed his determination to see whatever he had come here through. Sohryu had a good guess what it was.

"You know Touda cannot lie to me," the shinigami said softly instead of a greeting.

Sohryu nodded. "He wouldn't dare."

"Not just that. He just wouldn't. Touda has never lied, Sohryu. Never in all his life. He is honest about his feelings, about his motivation, about his loyalty. You just have to ask."

The dragon scowled.

"But you never did. You never asked about his reasons for the utter destruction, for the apparently senseless deaths. You just put him down and locked him away."

There was no accusation in Tsuzuki's voice. He was rather matter-of-fact.

"I respected his privacy and I never wanted to know either. Maybe I should have asked," the young man went on. "It would have prevented a lot of pain. I never knew about Keijin."

Sohryu flinched like struck. Tsuzuki knew about his son?

"I asked him, Sohryu. Something you should have done. He was your First General, you were the one in charge of the whole army. You entrusted him your son and Keijin was killed. You never asked how and why. You never asked for a reason."

"Touda killed him!" he hissed. "It's all I needed to know."

Byakko's tail was twice its size, all hairs standing on end, and a soft, warning rumble escaped his throat.

"You asshole!" the tiger snarled. "You prejudiced little…"

Tsuzuki squeezed his wrist and calmed him with a soft, 'Byakko'. Agitated, the tiger swished his tail, apparently close to attacking the other God.

"You never asked and I think it's time to do so, Sohryu," Tsuzuki told him. "I know the whole sordid tale, I know the pain and the desperation and the soul-deep anguish. It describes your emotions as well. You two went through the same agony over the loss of a loved one. But only one of you lost his sanity and destroyed whoever stood in his way."

Loved one… Sohryu's breath caught in his throat. Loved… one…

"Touda doesn't lie," Tsuzuki repeated. "Talk to him, Sohryu. It's not too late."

With that he turned, pulling a reluctant and still pissed off tiger with him.

Sohryu watched the doors close, his mind echoing the same phrase over and over again.

Loved one.

##########

Sohryu stared out of the window in his library with unseeing eyes. He wasn’t looking at the landscape or the people, he was looking into the past …

//”Father, look what Touda built for me!” the excited voice of his son cut into his thoughts and the next moment a very bouncy little dragon was hanging at his arm, chattering cheerfully and showing him the firebird shaped paper dragon. “Will you help me letting it fly?”

“Well, if Touda built it for you, maybe he should have the honor, don’t you think, Keijin?”

Sohryu smiled at the pout, glancing over to where Touda was standing, watching the little dragon with a smile of his own.

“It would me my honor, my lord,” Touda said, bowing with a smirk and a twinkle.

There was a tenderness in his snake eyes as he watched the boy running out of the room, calling for him to come and help him.
 

Sohryu stepped into the passage around the training area silently, watching. The opponents were unlikely as they could be, one older and slightly heavier built with battle experience, the other one slender and tall with a body like a dancer, long blue hair bound back into pony tail, not much more than a boy but already the size of his father. Both circled each other, waiting for a chance to attack.

And then in a blink of an eye the young man leaped into the air, only to come back down on his opponent like a hawk. Yellow snake eyes flared, there was a flutter of movement and the slender body crashed into the ground, held down by the other.

His son grinned up at his trainer, and Touda shook his head, smiling amused, placing one hand at the young man’s cheek. Keijin’s grin turned into a gentle smile and he whispered something. Touda let go of him abruptly.
 

“Touda,” Sohryu said seriously, ”these threats aren’t idle. I want you to look after Keijin while I’m away.”

“You can trust me, Sohryu. I’ll protect him with my life.”

Sohryu placed a hand on his first general and friend’s shoulder, squeezing thankfully.

“I know you will. You love him, too.”

There was a short flicker in those serpentine eyes.

“Yes, my lord.”//

Sohryu groaned and buried his hands into his face. How could he have been so blind? Could it be the truth? The snake and his beloved son…?

No, a voice inside him whispered, not a snake. He was your general, your loyal friend and most powerful soldier. He was honored, had a rank and a name… and he had loved Keijin. Not like a friend, not even like a brother, but like…

Then why did he kill him?

#########################

Sohryu stood in front of the ramshackle building, disbelief in his eyes at the state of the hut, the way Touda actually lived. He had never cared. He had never asked. To find out where Touda was living now hadn't been very difficult at all, but he surely hadn’t expected something like this. A single room  wooden cabin at the outskirts of GensouKai, far away from any civilization… how deep had Touda sunk?

How deep have you let him fall?

Where else could he live? part of him added. He has no rank any more. Only a title without power. He has no name, no servants, only people who fear or despise him.

It had taken him long to come here, to gather his wits and confront a part of his past he had avoided ever since he had had to bury his first child.

Keijin had been his pride and joy.

Touda had been his loyal soldier.

They had been friends and trusted warriors once.

That had changed within one day, when Touda had burned down everything in his path, when he had slipped into battle rage, when he had killed thousands…

He had never asked why.

He had also never questioned the relationship between Keijin and the serpent.

Sohryu still remembered his son's loving nature, his calm spirit, his innate warmth that so completely ran against the coolness of his dragon form. Keijin and Touda had been good friends, had always been together, and Keijin had loved the older shikigami.

Loved him.

Sohryu had never known how much.

Loved one…

Now, looking back to those still happy days before the war, he saw the subtle signs. How Touda had protected the young dragon, how Keijin had formed a perfectly balanced counterpart to the hot-blooded warrior, how he had kept him cooled down.

Loved one…

Something had happened on that fateful day. Something terrible, something so unspeakable that a man like Touda had lost all reason, had let the fire inside of him take over and had killed not only the enemy, but thousands of innocents as well.

Sohryu was here to find out. He was here to hear the truth, even if it took everything to get it out of the pardoned traitor.

When he stepped closer he sensed a movement to his right and he instinctively jumped aside when Touda appeared, holding a katana. The fire serpent didn’t attack, but his stance was all but friendly.

“Sohryu.”

“Touda.”

The dark-clad man walked past him, putting the katana back into its sheath.

"What do you want, Sohryu?" Touda asked, voice filled with disinterest.

Yes, what did he want? He wanted to know… About Touda, about his son, about Keijin…

"I want to know about Keijin," the dragon said levelly.

Touda stiffened visibly. "Keijin is dead. He died five hundred years ago, through my hands. That’s common knowledge. Let him rest in peace.”

Even after such a long time, it hurt. Sohryu pushed the pain aside.

“I heard otherwise.”

Touda's face was like made of stone. “Then you heard a lie.”

“Then tell me your side of the story.”

“I don’t have a side.”

“Touda…”

"He was under my command. He died. I killed him."

Sohryu suppressed a wince, schooling his features. "That's what everyone says."

A shrug. "So you know everything."

"No, I know what everyone said happened. I want to hear it from you."

The fire shikigami whirled around, eyes blazing through the dark shield of the visor.

“You were there, Sohryu, damnit! You survived my fire, Keijin didn’t! That’s it! I killed your son! Like I killed your wife! There is nothing else to say!"

"Byakko told me something else entirely."

Touda snarled and turned around. "Byakko is a fool."

"Was Keijin a fool, too?"

The fire shikigami stopped, shoulders tense, his whole body frozen.

"Was he the same fool like Byakko? To fall in love with you?" Sohryu drove his point home.

A tremor ran through the other man.

"Your son served under me," Touda grated out. "He was a good soldier and he died in the war because I killed him. You should leave it at that."

"I want to know the truth!" Sohryu growled.

"The truth?" A dark laugh. "The truth is what you have always believed in, Sohryu. Leave it at that."

He approached the black-clad figure. "I won't. I think I believed a lie in all those centuries."

"So what if I tell you the truth?" Touda yelled, whirling around. "Would it make it easier for you to hate someone else for your son's death? Someone who is already dead? Dust in the wind? I don't think so!"

The dragon faced the furious serpent with barely contained anger. "I loved Keijin… so did you. He died in that war, but not by your hands. I want to know what happened!"

Touda's breath escaped in a sharp whistling hiss between bared teeth, and his hands were balled into fists. Tendons stood out at his neck and he looked ready to break, but even if he lost it, even if that temper took a hold of him, there was no power to back it up any more.

"I looked into the eyes of the one being I loved more than my life!" he finally whispered harshly, voice like a knife. "I looked into those broken eyes, saw the pain and the horror of what they had done to him! I could see and feel what they had done to my beautiful lover!"

A clawed fist collided with the wooden wall of the hut, splintering it.

"I've seen those eyes for the past centuries!" Touda yelled. "They were the last I can remember before waking up inside Tenkuu, sentenced for life! They haunted me ever since, reminding me of my failure! I failed, Sohryu! I failed! Is that what you need to hear?" He spread his arms wide, shaking with fury and pain. "I failed him, I failed you. I failed… he died because of me. I killed him! You’re his father! You don’t need to know what else they did to him, Sohryu! You of all people shouldn't know!"

Sohryu's world slip-slid away from him at the spat words, at the raw pain each and every one carried. He was dimly aware of the rough gasp, the barely restrained tears lurking in that voice.

He was shell-shocked.

Keijin had been killed by the enemy? They had… they had killed him…

Sohryu felt the ground move away from under his feet. He didn’t feel the strong arms that caught him before he could land in the dirt.
The next thing he registered was the hot mug of tea that was placed into his hands. He looked up, distantly noting the sub-standard interior, how badly everything looked, how cheap and worn and… poor.

“So it’s true,” he murmured, feeling so very much broken in his belief, ”you didn’t kill him.”

“For you I did.”

“I hated you blindly… I didn’t even give you the chance to explain yourself.”

Touda shrugged as if he wasn't really interested. “Why should you? I killed innocent people, many of them. I am a mass murderer. It’s better you hate me than some faceless men who burned to death in my fire ages ago.”

“How...?” Sohryu started but was stopped by a gesture.

“You don’t want to know.”

The dragon sipped at his tea.

"Do you think you can tell me the truth?" Sohryu requested softly, looking at his host. "About Keijin, about yourself…?"

"It's history," Touda whispered, not looking at him from where he sat leaning against the opposite wall.

"No. Neither for you, nor for me. I never closed that chapter of my past. Keijin was my first-born. He was my pride. You were my First General. I entrusted you with his training and I know you took your duties seriously." Sohryu sighed softly, briefly looking at his knees. "You never closed that chapter either. I think it's time we did, don't you?"

There was no answer.

“Is it true you loved him?”

“You know I did. He was my lord’s son, my… responsibility.”

“You didn’t love him just that way, Touda. You were his lover.”

Touda didn’t answer. To Sohryu it was answer enough.

“You lost it when you learned about his death?”

Touda nodded once. “Something like that. I swore to protect him, I failed him. My sentence was rightful. Leave it that way.”

Sohryu gazed at the criminal, the man who had been more than just a general at a time, a man who had been like family, a close friend… his son’s lover.

“Why did you never speak up?”

Touda snorted. “When? You put me under, held a trial and the moment I woke again I was in a cell. You think I’d bang against the door and demand a retrial?”

Sohryu winced a little. “I was angry, Touda. I was angry and grieving and…”

“And you were right. I killed innocents, Sohryu, and I did time. I should still be down there, for all eternity, for what I did.”

The dragon listened to the dispassionate voice. Touda sounded so… cold, so matter-of-fact.

“No,” he murmured. “No. I confess to feeling furious at the pardon, but today I’m glad Tsuzuki insisted.”

Touda rose, walking over to the window, staring outside. He said nothing, his posture stiff. There had been a time when the two men had been able to talk freely; that had long passed. Sohryu placed the empty mug on the floor and got up, too. He gazed at the dark-clad man, then let his eyes roam over the spartan room.

Touda… he thought sadly.

But he said nothing. He felt so much and could say so little…

“You should leave,” Touda said dispassionately.

He didn’t argue. He just stayed a moment longer, then nodded and left.

Sohryu walked through the sun-dappled forest, feet crunching leaves and twigs, lost in thought.

###########

“You seem troubled, my friend.”

The old but very strong voice intruded into Sohryu’s thoughts as the water dragon sat in his study, staring out the window, lost in a world that had ceased to exist five hundred years ago. A world where he had been with his wife and son, where Aya had been at his side.

Aya.

He smiled dimly.

A wind shikigami. A woman so spirited and strong, so gentle and caring, a woman who had been his equal who had been able to take on this powerful God as her husband, partner and friend. Yes, she had been his equal. She had been his everything, his treasure, his wonder and love.

And Keijin…

Sohryu looked at the smaller shikigami now watching him from under bushy eyebrows, the onyx eyes sharp and piercing.

“Do you remember the war?” Sohryu asked softly.

Genbu snorted. “Which one? I was there for all four of them.”

The water shikigami nodded. He knew that. Genbu was, aside from him, one of the oldest Gods.

“I… talked to Touda lately.”

Another snort. “Yes, yes, I figured as much. With Byakko taking him in, with them becoming lovers, it was inevitable. A miracle the place is still standing.” The wooden walking stick clicked on the ground. "I hope you didn't try to separate them."

"What?" Sohryu looked down on the smaller shikigami.

Genbu huffed. "You weren't happy with their partnership. I know it."

"And you were?"

A smirk. "I can remember more explosive combinations."

"Touda is a sentenced criminal! He killed thousands of our kind! He is a dangerous individual and Byakko, a God, chose him as his partner," Sohryu growled. "I had reason to be displeased."

"No, actually you didn't. Byakko is not your child, nor is he in any of his private matters liable to you. His choices are his own."

"But Touda?"

Genbu smiled more. "I remember a couple that sparked up some ruckus. Aya…"

Sohryu sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Yes, yes… She wasn't a killer, though."

The Protector of the North leaned on his stick. "No, she was just a young woman who tamed the dragon, who turned GensouKai upside down, who was independent and fierce and gentle and kind, a shikigami born of low level parents who roused your interest, who was not of noble blood, who was seen as an affront to the higher shikigami back then."

Sohryu sighed deeply. He knew what an upset he had created with his choice as a companion, but there had been people to back him up, among them Touda. It had been true love, his only love, and they had had a single child. His pride and joy.

Keijin.

Who had fallen in love with Touda.

It all came back to Touda.

“Do you know how he lives?” Sohryu asked quietly.

Genbu stroked his beard. “Yes. Yes, I do.”

“I didn’t.”

“It’s not your job to know petty details.”

Sohryu ignored the little jab. “I never asked him why he lost it, Genbu.”

“*We* never did, Sohryu. There were four of us at the time of the trial. Three Gods and a representative for the dead wind God. All of us never asked. We simply sentenced him.”

“It’s no excuse. It was a trial. I never asked why, I never gave him a chance to defend himself. I threw him into prison and forgot about him.”

“Now those memories are coming back, eh?”

“Yes. All of them. And I know the reason now.” Sohryu sighed and rubbed his temples. He felt a headache coming.

“Does it change the past?”

Did it? Yes, in a way. It didn’t bring back Keijin, but it finally brought peace.

“Knowing why helps, Genbu. It puts demons to rest.”

The walking stick clicked again. “Then what troubles you?”

“The injustice. I can’t make up for five hundred years. No one can.”

Old eyes met his gaze. “Touda killed people. He is a pardoned criminal, Sohryu. No one can change that either because it’s a fact.”

He nodded, quite aware of that. Touda had killed. Aya… He had killed his wife, as well as Byakko’s father and so many more. But now he knew why. It hadn’t been an act of cold-blooded murder. It had been… something else.

“Whatever you want to do now, Sohryu,” Genbu could be heard, “always keep in mind that the decision you make now will always influence the future. Touda is Byakko’s partner now, they share more than just a bed.” At Sohryu’s look the old shikigami chuckled. “I have eyes, dragon. I can see the happiness in Byakko, the acceptance of what Touda was, what he is, and I can see the affection. Touda is who he is, but he was accepted without conditions by two people who have and still do change him. The first was Tsuzuki, who set him free and gave him a chance to live again. The second was Byakko, who shows him what to do with this life; he shows him there is more to it than simply existing.”

“You think I should be the third?” Sohryu asked neutrally.

“That is up to you. You are the ruler of GensouKai.”

“And with it responsible for this realm.”

“Yes.”

It meant he had to weigh the good against the bad, see the dangers… and Touda was a danger to everyone should he ever be freed.

Sohryu rubbed his head again.

“Well, I’ve to be off,” Genbu said all of a sudden. “Things to do, you know.”

He waved his walking stick and Sohryu watched him go, smiling faintly. He turned his gaze back to the scenery outside.

His decision to make.

His alone.

#########################

Rikugo tensed as the tall, proud form of Sohryu entered his study. The astrologer had been reading up on a few topics and hadn’t expected any visitors. Least of all Sohryu. The dragon gazed at him, the blue-gray eyes troubled, the face smooth and neutral.

“Sohryu,” Rikugo greeted him, bowing his head without lowering his eyes. “What gives me the honor of your visit?”

Sohryu smiled slightly. “Let’s not pretend, Rikugo.”

He smirked a little. “Have we ever?”

It was an open secret that the two shikigami didn’t really like each other. Rikugo respected Sohryu as a God and more powerful shikigami, but he also criticized his style, his politics, whatever the Protector of the East did when acting as their leader.

Sohryu chuckled humorlessly, then his expression grew serious.

“I’m calling in a hearing,” he said without preamble.

Rikugo frowned. “A hearing? A council?”

“Yes. I’m asking you to take the place of one of the council members.”

Rikugo’s eyes widened. “What? Who?”

“You’ll be replacing Byakko.”

The astrologer stared at the other shikigami, confused. “Byakko is a member of the council and replacing him means…” He stopped. “What’s this hearing about, Sohryu?”

“Touda.”

Onyx eyes bore into blue ones. “Are you accusing him of something again?”

“No. I’m asking you to take Byakko’s place. Do you accept?”

“Why?”

“Because I cannot take Byakko onto a council that deals with his lover.”

Rikugo was thunderstruck by the open words. Everyone knew that Touda was Byakko’s lover and while Rikugo couldn’t say he would have made the choice, he also didn’t openly discuss or even criticize the young wind God’s choice. It was Byakko’s life and he was an adult. He knew about Touda just like all the others, and if he had chosen him as a lover, so be it. Rikugo had made his own strange choices in bed partners in the past.

“Will you accept?” Sohryu asked again.

“I want to know the reason you call this hearing, Sohryu.”

“I’m reevaluating the pardon, as well as the sentence.”

The blond stared at him. “What? You can’t!”

The dragon’s face closed up. “I can. Evidence will be discussed among the council. Do you accept your place?”

Rikugo inhaled sharply, then nodded. “I do.”

“Good.” Sohryu turned sharply. “You will receive a notice when we convene. Do not talk to anyone about this.”

Rikugo scowled. “I’m not a novice, Sohryu.”

“I know.”

And then he was gone, leaving a stunned Rikugo behind.

A council was convening, a hearing was called… about Touda. Rikugo knew this would have effects, incredible effects. A pebble thrown into a pond, but it was creating waves.

The astrologer walked over to the large pattern laid into the floor. He settled into the middle, legs folded underneath him, and inhaled deeply. He relaxed slowly, falling into a meditative stance, then let his spirit flow along the energy lines of the universe. As always, it calmed him, the streams touching his consciousness, his very soul, caressing it with the familiar hum of power.

Rikugo opened his mind’s eye.

#########################

Byakko had just finished his official business hours when one of his servants announced the presence of the Palace Guards, the elite unit directly under Sohryu’s command. He rose from his desk as the commander entered, kneeling and bowing his head.

“I apologize for any inconvenience, my lord,” the shikigami said.

“What’s the meaning of this, captain?” Byakko asked.

The man rose and met his gaze head-on. “By the order of Lord Sohryu we are looking for the fire serpent Touda,” the officer said.

Touda? Sohryu had sent the Guard for Touda? Byakko felt his blood pressure rise.

“What are the accusations this time? He hasn’t done anything!”

“I apologize, but I am not privy to that information. Our only order is to escort him to the palace for a hearing. Your presence is required there as well, Lord Byakko.” The officer bowed slightly. “If you now would be so kind as to tell us the whereabouts of fire serpent Touda, please?”

Before Byakko could answer Touda appeared behind him.

“I am here. Let’s go.”

“Touda…“

Touda raised one hand, slightly cupping his lover’s face. “Byakko, shush. If Sohryu sees fit to arrest me again, it is his right. Everything will be all right. Meet me there.” The hand fell away and the black-clad shikigami turned to the Guards.

The captain shot him a slightly uneasy look, but Touda made no aggressive moves, just stepped past him and led the way out of the palace.
Byakko watched with stinging eyes as the guards escorted Touda away. Then he whirled around and stalked past his startled servants, his coat swirling about him.

############

Tsuzuki was in the middle of a briefing when the jumbled mess of fear and anger washed over him. He froze, the voice of Konoe suddenly distant and small, the words indecipherable.

//Touda?!// he cried.

More fear, suppressed by the shikigami, trying not to show it. The vision of guards, Touda being led away from Byakko’s palace.

No!

//Touda!//

//Tsuzuki…// Touda’s voice was shaky.

//What’s wrong? What happened?//

//Sohryu asked to see me.//

Tsuzuki pushed forward, caught the thought of guards and maybe even a prison cell. //NO!// he roared. //How dare he…!//

Without conscious thought he rose, breathing hard, eyes wide open.

“Tsuzuki!” Konoe called, clearly annoyed at being interrupted.

Dilated, violet eyes suddenly narrowed and Tsuzuki felt the darkness flare.

How dare that dragon? How dare he take Touda back under guard? How dare he make that call?!

“Tsuzuki!”

The voice was his partner’s, was Hisoka’s, but he didn’t react. He just concentrated on Touda.

//I’ll be there,// he whispered, fiercely. It was a vow, a promise he wouldn’t break.

And then his power unlocked the gate, the way into GensouKai, and without looking at any of his colleagues or his superior, he went through.
 

Hisoka just sat in his chair, stunned, mouth a fine line, eyes narrowed. Emotions from Tsuzuki still assaulted him, even though the shinigami had left the room, the dimension. He had felt Touda's presence, filled with panic and fear and the need for his master, but there was nothing clear. He still couldn't say why it had come all of a sudden.

"Hisoka?"

Tatsumi's voice drew him out of his thoughts. "Yes?"

"Do you know what happened?" the Shadow Master asked.

"No. He felt something… from Touda. Something bad."

Blue eyes grew distant, thoughtful, then Tatsumi nodded.

Hisoka wondered what had happened to the fire serpent. It had to be something very bad for him to be so panicky, to call for Tsuzuki… and given that lately a lot of bad things had happened… Hisoka sighed. This one had felt almost climatic.

Right now he just wished he could follow his partner and be there for him.

As it was, he couldn't.

##############################

Byakko, despite his youth compared to the other shikigami in the room, held a powerful aura that could make such dangerous beings like Rikugo cower in submission. He was the Protector of the West, a God, after all. Now that aura was flaring, spiking, brushing against that of the shikigami he was currently facing.

And he was furious.

“By all GensouKai, Sohryu, what is it this time? Touda hasn’t done anything! He hasn’t so much as set a foot into the town! He was with me…“

Sohryu met the outraged wind shikigami with his usual calm. Blue eyes gave nothing away, but they warned his subordinate to watch just how far he went.

“Byakko, I ask you to sit down."

Byakko growled softly, eyes glowing a deeper red than usual, and he was baring his canines in a clear warning himself.

"What is going on here?!"

"A hearing."

The tiger snarled. "A hearing? A damned hearing?! How come you didn't tell me a word about it? I am one of the four Gods, in case you forgot, dragon! I am part of your hearings!"

Sohryu smiled a little. "I didn't forget, Byakko. And because this hearing concerns Touda you will be replaced by Rikugo today.”

“What?! Rikugo? I demand…“

Sohryu cut him off. “You are not objective anymore when it comes to Touda, Byakko. I asked you to be here, but you won't  have a say. Do you wish to leave?”

The aura flared again. Byakko bristled. “Of course not.”

There was a pointed look from Sohryu and Byakko took a seat at the side. But he was far from pleased.

And then something else registered on the senses of all assembled. An aura they knew only too well. An aura that was coiling and uncoiling, hissing and spoiling for a fight. An aura that had a touch of such darkness, they all moved uneasily. Their eyes went to Sohryu who was standing in the middle of the hearing chamber, calmly facing the doors.

The doors flew open, revealing a very furious shinigami. They all winced at the raw power and anger their master was radiating. Violet eyes were flaring, hard as stone, and the darkness was like a living, breathing creature hovering over them like a snake about to strike.

“Sohryu! I demand to know what is going on here! Why is there another trial? What are you accusing him of this time?” Tsuzuki yelled.

Sohryu was a model of calm on the outside, but there was a tell-tale wince around his eyes.

“Master Tsuzuki, I am very glad that you are here for this hearing."

Tsuzuki snarled at the word. "Hearing? A trial is more like it, right? Do I have to remind you who Touda's life belongs to?"

"No. You made it quite clear the last time and this jury is not here to take what is yours. But there are matters to discuss and facts to confirm, and I respectfully ask you to let us proceed.”

“What matters? What facts? What are you accusing him of?”

Sohryu raised a calming hand. “There are no new accusations. Tsuzuki, please let us proceed. You have the right to object at any given time, but as I said before, we are not here to take what is yours. This is GensouKai jurisdiction, therefore it doesn’t affect you.”

Tsuzuki didn’t look all too happy. "It damn well affects me, Sohryu," he growled. "This is Touda we're talking about. He is one of my shikigami – like all of you."

They didn't need to be reminded.

Tsuzuki glared at the dragon, bringing a point across. He was their master, but he would accept Sohryu's authority for now.

“No accusations?”

“No.”

“No death penalty?”

“No.”

Tsuzuki huffed and sat down beside Byakko, and the tiger squeezed his hand reassuringly. He didn’t feel reassured himself, but Tsuzuki sent him a short smile nevertheless.

And then Touda was let in.

Byakko noticed with a sigh of relief that there weren’t any chains or shackles. But the guards accompanying him didn't do much to let his fear fade. Nor did the mask-like expression on his lover's visible half of his face.

Sohryu spoke.

“This hearing has gathered concerning the case of Divine Commander fire serpent Touda.”

Case? Byakko thought confused. What case?

“New evidence has been found and made it necessary to confirm the accuracy of some facts that have to be taken into account before this hearing can come to a conclusion whatsoever." Sohryu turned to the blond man who had taken Byakko's place. "Rikugo.”

The astrologer rose and walked toward Touda, who was still showing no emotions, let alone a reaction.

"What the…" Tsuzuki hissed and was down there as well in a flash before Byakko could even finish the thought.

“What do you think you’re doing? I won’t allow such a farce again!”

Sohryu looked at his master. “Tsuzuki, please step aside and let Rikugo do his work.”

“You can’t scan him without permission…”

“They have my permission already, Tsuzuki,” Touda cut in softly, making the other man whirl around.

“You gave them permission for Rikugo to scan you? Do you have any idea what  they want?” the shinigami demanded.

“No. But whatever it is, they will get it. That was part of the agreement.”

“Touda…“

“Sit down, Tsuzuki.  Let them do it.”

Tsuzuki stared at the dark-clad man, torn between protecting him and following his request.

"Touda, no… you can't let him do it," he whispered softly.

"I can and I will. Whatever this is about, they will get what they want. Tsuzuki… please…"

A tremor went through the slender human and he briefly touched the serpent's wrist, a loving, supportive gesture, then he stepped aside.
But he didn't take his seat again.

A point made, he shot Sohryu a dark look that told the dragon that he would have to remove him by force. Sohryu let him be.

Rikugo sighed softly, visibly feeling unwell as he took his place in front of Touda. He opened his eyes – all two additional pairs, Byakko noticed – and Looked at Touda intensely.

Silence reigned.

"Tell me what you see," Sohryu's voice echoed loudly.

“The balance is there,” the astrologer said, nodding. “Darkness calls to darkness. Shields have been shattered, others have been placed. It’s strong... “

“Strong enough?" Sohryu queried. "Can the power be controlled?”

Tsuzuki groaned, and Byakko finally got what Sohryu was talking about – the bond of darkness Touda and Tsuzuki were sharing since his master had been triggered by Enma-Daio.

For Rikugo to See this… he had to go deep. Past the surface thoughts, past the inner feelings, past everything that was Touda, that was private, intimate… to the core. He was touching a place that belonged only to Touda and Tsuzuki.

Byakko hated Sohryu.

“Yes,” Rikugo answered slowly.

“What will happen if the stability is unbalanced or destroyed?”

Rikugo was still gazing at Touda, who stood stock still. Byakko noticed a faint shiver, one echoed by Tsuzuki. “Imbalance will backfire, as will destruction. It is a two way road.”

“Is Tsuzuki strong enough to counter the darkness? Could he stop the tidal wave should the blood rage take away all control?”

Both Byakko and Tsuzuki’s heads flew up at the matter-of-factly uttered question. What the hell…?

Rikugo nodded. “Because they are connected he is.”

"Can Touda prevent it?"

Byakko's anger turned into fury, his hatred deepening. Sohryu had no right! No right at all! This was something wonderful between Tsuzuki and Touda! This was a violation…

"No. They are equal. He would never turn against what he protects."

“Thank you, Rikugo.”

The eyes closed and Rikugo seemed infinitely relieved to be allowed to stop the scan. He looked at Touda, appeared almost apologetic, and he bowed his apology to Tsuzuki. The shinigami was shaking with rage, but he kept his silence.

Byakko watched as Sohryu exchanged glances with all the other gods and Rikugo, and received nods in return.

“Divine Commander fire serpent Touda, because of the most recent developments and emergence of new facts this hearing has gathered and reopened  the proceedings of your pardon. We reviewed past evidence and have taken Rikugo's scan into account. “We have come to the conclusion that due to these new facts the arrangements of your pardon are no longer valid."

Both Tsuzuki and Byakko gasped in shock, and a quick glance showed Byakko that Touda had paled considerably.

Tsuzuki stepped protectively between his shikigami and the council, eyes darker now, the aura flaring with an almost audible hiss.

“Objection! You can’t do that! He hasn’t violated the agreements…“

“Please let us proceed," Sohryu said calmly. "This doesn’t concern you.”

“It damn well concerns me! Down to the last second of this stupid hearing! You can't…!"

“Tsuzuki! Let me finish!”

There was sheer agony in Tsuzuki's face. He was close to unleashing his anger, but he was holding it back. He didn't want to use what was his power. He would never hurt any of his shikigami.

Touda raised a hand and placed it on his protector's shoulder. "Tsuzuki…" he whispered, voice holding a slight tremor. "Let them."

"No, Touda, no! They can't!"

"Tsuzuki, please. It's all I ask," the serpent continued.

"But…"

Gloved fingers touched the pale face, relaying his love, and Byakko whimpered silently.

"Please." It was a barely audible plea.

Tsuzuki's eyes glistened wetly, but he stepped aside.
 

At Sohryu's wave Rikugo came forward again.

Byakko tensed. He felt Tsuzuki's aura coil, the darkness grow, while the man himself looked close to an emotional breakdown.

Rikugo lifted his hands and – Byakko’s eyes widened – took off the visor with two soft clicks.

Touda blinked into the bright light of the courtroom, looking all confused and lost, searching for Byakko for an explanation the tiger didn’t have. Then his eyes fell on Tsuzuki, who could only gape.

“You have repaid your debts to the society of GensouKai,” Sohryu said softly, “and are hereby fully rehabilitated. You are given back your rank and name – which by the way means you are back under my command – and released as a free man, Divine Commander Touda. This hearing is closed. Dismissed.”
 
 

Touda stood rooted to the spot. Adrenaline coursed through him, called by fear and desperation, the sheer tension of what was about to happen to him. He felt the air touch his face, could see without restriction, and he felt his power. All of it. He had always felt it, but only like behind a wall he would never be able to breach.

He was… whole.

Confused eyes sought out his master, felt the same confusion resonating inside the bond. Violet met golden.

//Touda… Oh Gods!//

And then he had Tsuzuki wrapping his arms around him, crying with happiness.

He didn't understand.

He was… free?

His arms held the bubbling shinigami almost automatically, unprotected eyes roaming through the hearing room. He saw his lover sitting on the bench, frozen, just as stunned, mouth open.

He was free.

//Yes!// Tsuzuki cried through the bond, almost sobbing.

Free.

He didn't understand. He didn't… Why?

And then Byakko stood before him and Tsuzuki let go, letting the tiger hug him. He felt the warmth of his lover, felt the tears, heard the sobs of joy.

"You're free!" the wind shikigami whimpered happily. "Free!"

He was free.

It settled. A little.

Free.

Red eyes filled his view and then a mouth crushed his as arms wrapped around his neck, holding him. Touda answered the kiss, feeling his own emotions starting to rise.

"You're free!" Byakko whispered breathlessly when they separated.

His arms were still around his neck, holding him close.

"Free, free, free! You can move here! You can have your own place! I mean, only if you want to. There's room for you at my home. You can have your own room, or we can knock down a wall and enlarge the bedroom. Or you can build yourself a home close by."

Touda felt something bubble up inside of him at the endless torrents of happy babbling. Red eyes glowed with undisguised joy and Byakko was vibrating with unreleased tension that tried to find an outlet.

"We can keep the cabin as a getaway, you know. Like a holiday place. We can spend a weekend there…"

Touda couldn't stop the bubble of laughter escaping him. Adrenaline had a strange way of interacting with emotions that he had long since believed dead.

He laughed.

For the first time since Keijin's death he felt like it. Truly and utterly joyful. And then his mouth closed over Byakko's, sealing the mile-a-minute tongue.
Byakko gave a moan of approval.

###

Sohryu had been the last to leave the hearing, stopping at the door as he felt Tsuzuki come up to him. The shinigami's eyes were glinting suspiciously. Hands stuff into the pockets of his pants he looked up into the blue ones of the dragon.

"Sneaky bastard," he said amiably.

Sohryu inclined his head, accepting the chastising name. "I apologize for putting you through this, Tsuzuki."

Tsuzuki huffed a little. "You have a flair for the dramatic, don't you?"

"I did what had to be done."

He glanced back into the room where Byakko was holding Touda, the two men as close together as they could physically be. He saw and felt Byakko's happiness, the glow around the wind shikigami strengthening by the minute. He saw the tender expression in Touda's face, the love… and he witnessed the first peels of deep, true laughter that was followed by a kiss.

Byakko melted into the kiss, his tail wrapped around the two men in a clear sign.

Tsuzuki elbowed him a little and nodded toward the exit.

"Let's go," the shinigami said quietly.

Sohryu smiled, a smile tinged with sadness. He remembered his son, Keijin's smile, his warmth, his affection, the way he had always looked at Touda. He hadn't been the bundle of energy that was Byakko, nor had he been as powerful, but he had one thing in common – Touda's love. His devotion, his adoration and his protection.

I was a fool not to see it. A narrow-sighted fool.

The dragon followed Tsuzuki, the doors closing after them, giving the two men some privacy. Outside, Tsuzuki inhaled deeply, face turned toward the sun, eyes closed. When he looked at Sohryu he held an expression of utter peace.

##########################

Suzaku hadn't approached Tsuzuki ever since the day the shinigami had told her in no uncertain terms that he had disapproved of her actions against Touda. Since then she had tried not to be in his way, had respectfully kept her distance, and except for the hearing she hadn't seen him. Even then he hadn't really looked at her.

That Sohryu had reevaluated the pardon, had actually cleared Touda of his crimes, had been as surprising and shocking to her as to everyone, but like the others she had looked at the evidence and seen the mistakes they had made in the past. She herself had been part of the jury condemning the fire serpent. It had been her first verdict, her first action as the new Protector of the South that time, and she had never looked back.

Because it hurt to look back.

And it hurt to think of her rash attack, of how she had injured the other shikigami who hadn't defended himself at all.

Touda had never defended himself.

It had been their game. A simple, daily game, a routine. She would attack him, spar with him verbally or physically, and then leave him again. Suzaku knew that Touda was physically stronger than her, and he was fast, but he had no power to back up his moves, and he had never been the aggressor.

That had been her. Every single time.

She would swing at him with her sword, he would move out of the way, she would curse him, he would not reply, and that was it.

A routine. A healthy routine to work off her emotions, her aggression.

The last time she had nearly killed him. She hadn't stopped to think about her actions; she had done what had been their interaction for decades now.

Suzaku twisted her hands in anger at herself and apprehension of what she needed to do. She had nearly killed the shikigami bonded to their master, the one soul that could upset Tsuzuki more than anything, that might be the trigger to an avalanche no one wanted to kick lose.

Steps alerted her to someone approaching and when she sensed the familiar aura she rose to her feet. The powerful phoenix, the Protector of the South, felt like a little girl as she waited for the one she needed to talk to.

Tsuzuki stopped when he saw her, surprise on his features, and Suzaku wanted to cry as she discovered the sad, violet eyes. The shinigami who had always looked upon her so lovingly now radiated as much apprehension as she felt.

"Tsuzuki," she began, just in time remembering not to address him as 'master'. "I… please don't hate me!" she blurted.

Those wonderful eyes widened and he was with her in a flash. "Suzaku, no!" Tsuzuki cried. "I don't hate you!"

"I didn't want to hurt him! I never wanted to cause him harm! I wasn't there long enough to see the injury and I had thought he would move, like he always did. I just wanted to… I mean, he had hurt you so badly with the dream, and I was angry and furious and so… disappointed… and so I did… I…"

Tears gathered in her eyes and she hugged herself. The proud Commander, the fierce warrior, was nothing but a small child now. She loved Tsuzuki dearly. Not like a mother, not like a lover, but like a big sister. She protected him because it was her oath as a shikigami who had lost her challenge, but the oath had long since been replaced by unconditional love. Tsuzuki had not just won her strength, he had won her heart and soul with his innocence and warmth.

Arms encased her, embraced her, held her against a warm, solid form. Soft lips kissed her head, then Tsuzuki rested his cheek against hers.

"I don't hate you, Suzaku," he whispered.

She hesitantly wrapped her arms around the slender body, feeling more sobs rise.

"I was afraid when I saw the blood. I was scared so badly, I said things to a lot of people I shouldn't have. I was also confused about myself, my feelings for Hisoka, and about your love for me. You all love me and it honors and scares me."

"I would never hurt you," Suzaku whispered.

"I know that, Suzaku." He gently forced her to look into his eyes and she blinked away her tears. "I know it. I love you, too, Suzaku. All of you. No exception. I forgive you if you forgive me for treating you so badly."

She gave a sobbing laugh. "It was your right as my master, Tsuzuki."

He shook his head. "I had no right at all." He ran a gentle caress over her cheek and she leaned into the touch. "I want to close this chapter, Suzaku. It happened and we learned from it."

She nodded. "Thank you."

She brushed her lips over his in a loving caress. Tsuzuki smiled a little and finally they separated. Suzaku felt much better than before, though she knew there was one last thing she had to do, and that was to apologize to the one being she had nearly killed.

For now the phoenix accompanied her friend and master as he strolled through the gardens, safe in her knowledge that she was still accepted by Tsuzuki, that he still loved her.

###########

Things seemed to have settled in GensouKai. Touda’s new status had made the news all over the realm, but the serpent showed little reaction to the looks and stares of those who hadn’t been present at the hearing. The eleven shikigami of Tsuzuki had little problems with the ‘new Touda’, but the others apparently had. People whispered, pointed behind his back, and Byakko wondered how Touda could take it all.

“It’s no different than before,” the fire shikigami told him.

“But, Touda… it is different! You’re free now!”

“Yes, Byakko, I am. I’m free, but I’m still a criminal. They know it, they fear me.”

Byakko sighed and just embraced him, holding him close. “I know you,” he murmured. “I don’t fear you.”

Touda had no reply for that.

###

Byakko watched. He just couldn’t help it.

Seeing Touda without his visor for the first time had been quite a thrill for the tiger, and he had fallen in love with those wonderful golden eyes immediately. When the visor had come back on, he had hated every moment of it, had wished there was another way. Now the cursed thing had been forever removed. How anyone could call Touda’s eyes ‘snake eyes’ or cold, he couldn’t understand. For him they were golden and hot, not cold, and he could read so much in them. So many emotions that had been hidden by the dark tinted visor so long, had been suppressed for ages.

Now they were forever freed, there for him and the world to see them.

“Down in Tenkuu,” Touda had once said when they had cuddled – beware he’d ever call the serpent cuddler or cute – “I felt nothing. With Keijin my feelings seemed to have died, and it was when Tsuzuki pulled me out of that cell, he pulled me out of my personal hell, too. That’s when I started to feel again.”

And then those lizard like eyes had glowed, and Touda had bent down for a sweet kiss.

“Thank you,” he had breathed very very softly.

“What for?”

“For being such a persistent little bugger. If you hadn’t asked… had dared to annoy Sohryu that much... he’d never have thought twice about me.”

“But he did. And you’re free.”

“Yes…“

And Touda’s lips had wandered over his body and extinguished every coherent thought for a long while.

“What?” Touda now asked slightly irritated.

He seemed unable to get used to feeling a pair of red eyes watching his every move.

“Just looking,” Byakko smiled.

The tiger had become a little more settled around him, though he’d never lose his bouncy, easy excited self. Touda had yet to make a decision as to whether he would permanently move into the wind shikigami’s palace or have his own built somewhere close by. Questions as to his former residence, before his fall from grace, had not been clearly answered. To Byakko it was clear he didn’t want to go back to that particular place.

“What are you looking at, cat?” Touda growled.

“You.”

“Why?”

“Because I think you look yummy.”

“I… what?”

Touda gasped a little when he felt long fingers run over his shoulders from behind, lips at his neck, a sharp canine carefully, teasingly scratching over his pulse point. Byakko’s hands had found the opening of his robe and were now descending down his chest, fingertips brushing over his nipples, sending a shudder through his body. The serpent leaned back into the slender body, reaching around to pull his lover into a kiss – which turned into a hot dueling of tongues. Touda found himself moaning into the kiss, needing to catch those wayward hands.

Since his acquittal their lovemaking had become much more intense – as if his emotions had been imprisoned, too, and were now running free with the rest of him. He had even been able to let himself fall a little and close his eyes, just enjoy Byakko’s gentle caring touches. It had just been a massage, nothing more than a backrub – at first – but to Touda it was one hell of a step. To turn his unprotected back to someone, even if it was his lover, to trust enough to do that … Byakko hadn’t commented on it, but Touda knew that the tiger understood.

He had quietly announced every move.

And Touda loved him – though he hadn’t been able to say the magic three words. He just hoped Byakko knew it.

The tiger bit his ear gently and slid on his lap, straddling his hips before he returned his attention back to his chest, making Touda moan softly at the sensation of somewhat raspy hot tongue on his cooler skin.

##########

It was late. Very late. Night had fallen and considering the hot encounter just an hour earlier, he should be asleep.

But he wasn’t.

Touda stood on the balcony of the bedroom, gazing out over the silent world of GensouKai center. There was hardly anyone awake and the night was clear and fresh and cool. It was a good cool, a refreshing cool, a weather Touda, despite being a fire shikigami, liked. It cleared his head, it gave him the necessary distance to think.

About himself, his life… about Byakko.

Touda’s gaze traveled into the dark bedroom, looking at the peacefully sleeping man in their shared bed.

His lover.

The Protector of the West.

Touda smiled a little, features softening.

Byakko had done so much for him, and most he would never be able to repay. Touda knew what the tiger had done; like making arrangements with the baker woman in the little village near his cabin. The first time he had found something fresh to eat he had thought it to be a mistake. In all the years he had bought her old food she had never given him anything. Food was too valuable to just give away.

Byakko had made sure he received fresh vegetables, bread or even ham once in a while. Touda had never told him he knew, and he probably never would. It was the first time another shikigami had done anything for him. Aside from Tsuzuki, no one in his life after the prison sentence had ever cared. Then the tiger had come.

He had never tried to change Touda or anything in the serpent’s life. He had known about his run-down cabin, had known about his so-called diet, had known so much and had never shied away.

“I love you,” Touda whispered into the night, leaning against the hardwood railing.

He loved Byakko like he had loved Keijin, and the two men were completely different. He would never compare one to the other, only his feelings for each. And he felt with the same intensity.

There was movement from inside and Touda glanced into the bedroom, watching Byakko turn over and curl up on the other side. The black and white tail twitched a little and then he was quiet again.

Touda walked inside, and smiled at his sleeping lover. Byakko was so much younger than him, but he had more courage, more energy, more life than anyone he had ever known. Sitting down, he reached over and stroked the furry tail. He loved that tail.

I love you, he thought, smiling more.

And now he was free. He was free, he had a lover, he had the bond to Tsuzuki… his life was filled with emotions and hope and a future.

#######

He hadn't seen her since the trial. In the distance, maybe, but never up close and personal any more. Touda had to confess he actually missed the confrontations, the sparring lessons, even if the last one had nearly killed him. But he had wanted to die a few weeks ago, so he couldn't fault her. Suzaku had only helped him along.

But now he was looking into those fiery eyes, framed by black hair in a beautiful face. She was in her traditional outfit, unarmed, at least visibly, and her face was like a mask, though her eyes gave away her emotions.

"Suzaku," Touda broke the silence, voice neutral.

She inhaled deeply. "Touda."

Silence again. It was laughable. Almost.

"I apologize," Suzaku finally said formally.

Golden eyes widened a little. Now there was a new twist to their relationship. She had never apologized before.

"I apologize for attacking you. I never noticed your injury. I could have killed you."

Touda smiled humorlessly. "I appreciated your help at the time. It was my intention to die."

She briefly closed her eyes, shaking her head. "You would have killed Tsuzuki as well."

Was there a little of the old fire again? He hoped so. A guilt-ridden phoenix didn't fit the image he had of the Protector of the South.

"No," the serpent answered. "I was planning on leaving slowly, not to cut the bond abruptly."

"You didn't and still don't know if that would work!" Now the fire was back and red eyes glowed. "It was irresponsible!"

Touda chuckled. "I thought you had come here to apologize, not to blame me for anything."

She grimaced. "You're always to blame for something."

He smiled and walked past her. He had an appointment with Sohryu to keep.

"Good to know not everything changes," he said.

Suzaku glared daggers at him.
 
 

She felt her temper boil, her blood pressure rise, and it felt good. It felt so very good and something inside her tingled.

It had started to tingle when she had looked into those golden eyes, had taken in the tall, muscular frame that stood across the path from her… and something she had thought had died a long time ago had been revived.

Suzaku had tried to forget the feelings of a young girl, of a teenager who had had her first crush, but they had slowly come back after Touda had been released from Tenkuu's depths. It had been decades ago… centuries… She had been thirteen, she had seen the fire serpent for the first time, and she had fallen in love. A teenage crush. Nothing serious.

But those feelings had persisted to this day, only in a different way.

"Stupid," she muttered. "So stupid. You knew it from that day on, and still it doesn't go away. And anyway… even if he had felt something in return, fire and fire don't get along."

She walked down the path, shaking her head.

"Was too late anyway. Got himself a wind shikigami. And it's not like I'm jealous. Byakko's good for him, and he makes Byakko happy. We just would have been at each other's throats."

But the feeling persisted. She would always love him, in a way. It was a hopeless feeling, one that might disperse with the right partner, but for now she would enjoy it.

Touda was her first crush, he would remain it, and she would never treat him any differently than before. Maybe one day in the near future she would dare to initiate another game. She had enjoyed their fighting, their sparring, their encounters. She was a warrior and he kept her on the edge, she had honed her skills in that time, and she saw him as a worthy opponent.

Suzaku smiled to herself as she launched into the air, enjoying the freedom of flight.

###

Touda stood behind the wooden partition, face a mask, eyes showing no emotions.

He had heard the muttered words, he had put them into the right context, and his mind whirled.

She had loved him? She still did?

It made a strange kind of sense, the past and their fights… a very strange kind of sense.

Shaking his head, he turned and continued his way to Sohryu's palace where he had been called to a meeting with the dragon.