Kill the Spore
Chapter 1

Meet Lea

(Lea is me… Sutashi… You have a surprise coming in this fic! By the way,… things in parenthesis will either be places or me talking to you!)

(Cloud's Villa)

Red XIII- ::walks into the room:: Hola mi amigos!
::Cloud flips the TV off::
Red XIII- Thanks… the remote was stuck on Spanish.
Cloud- No problem.
Aeris- ::Runs to hug Red XIII:: Wow, you're back from Cosmo Canyon! We missed you!
Tifa- Aeris… he's been back for three days!
Aeris- Really… I missed my cue three days ago?! I must have missed what day he came back when I read the script.
::Aeris goes to sit in the corner to read the script again::
Barett- ::runs in:: When is the new Cure/Lakucia agent supposed to arrive, Aeris?
Aeris- ::looks at script:: 3… 2…
Lea- Hello everyone.
Aeris- ::starts doing a jig:: IM SOOO GOOD!
::Everyone has big sweatdrops::
Lea- Uh… is she always like this?
Tifa- I'm sure she's a blond under there somewhere! So, Lea… what do you do?
Lea- ? I used to be a slave to count Dracula before my brother Vamp Master saved me! He also gave me magical powers!
::Tifa and Aeris look slyly over at Cloud::
Together- OH REALLY! Is your brother cute?
Cloud- ::sweatdrop::
Lea- ::Pulls out a photo:: This is him.
Both- Wow! He's better looking than Cloud!
Cloud- ::Looking insulted:: HEY!
::Bang::
::weird music starts to play::
Cloud- Sephiroth, can't you walk through the door like a normal person?
Sephiroth- ::Ignores Him:: So you're the new member huh. Yes… you'll do nicely for my plan.
::Tifa grabs Cloud's Ultima sword::
Cloud- Hey!
::Aeris grabs Barett's arm and drags him over to Sephiroth::
Barett- AHHHHHHHHHH!
Aeris and Tifa- You're not going to hurt this poor girl! We want to meet her cute brother!!!!
Cloud-::another sweatdrop::
Sephiroth- ::Looking at Cloud:: Calm your females.
::Aeris and Tifa advance towards Sephiroth::
Barett- AHHHHHHHHHH!
Cloud- ::Steps in front of them and gives them both a quick kiss. They immediately pass out:: Heh Heh works every time.
Sephiroth- ::Walks toward Lea:: I have a plan to destroy the Pink Thing… Do you have a strong stomach?
::Cloud, Barett, and Red XIII look at him suspiciously::
Lea- ::still cheery:: sure…what ya got in mind?
Sephiroth- ::whispers in her ear::

(Mysterious Ne?)

(The Lair of the Spore)
Chibi Usa- Oh Mamo-chan, some day I will win your heart. Until then, I will continue to try to rape you.
::A girl of 16 enters the room::
Girl- Oh pink goddess, I have completed my mission.
Chibi Usa- Very good, slave… you shall be rewarded, what are there plans?
::the slave whispers Sephiroth's plans in her ear.::
Chibi Usa- Ha Ha Ha. They think that will stop me? Go, my slave, and gather my prism… I am going Angel hunting.
Girl- Yes, your highness.

Lea walked down the street. She had just come from the grocery store and was walking home to Cloud's Villa. To any passerby she was just a normal girl walking home. What they didn't see was that her fist was curled around a large sapphire under the bag.

Chibi Moon- ::jumps out from behind a trash can:: Now I have you! Become my slave!
::Chibi moon fires the Pink Sugar Heart Attack at Lea::
Lea- ::jumps into the air and drops the bag. She holds the Sapphire up high::
Love Angel Power Make-up!!!!
Chibi Moon- What the- You !@#%$@#%!@#!^%&^#@!$%^@%$#
Love Angel- :: lands gracefully on the ground and turns to face Chibi Moon::
Love Meteor Shower RAIN!
::The meteors fall to the ground hitting Chibi Usa and splattering her on the ground.::
Sephiroth- ::Jumps down from a building:: Nice Work.
Cloud- ::Coming from another building:: We're gonna get dirty letters from the S.C.O.A. (Street Cleaners Of America).
Love Angel- Oh well… At least it's over. How about I fix everyone some Lasagna.
Both guys- ::sappy grins:: I love a woman that can cook!

::But as the boys were enjoying Lea's delicious Lasagna, a large pink puddle rises into the air whispering something about getting help from CUTE members. Maybe it isn't over::

(Surprise!!!!!!! Okay, it isn't really a surprise. You expected the demon to somehow live through it so we can pound her again next time, didn't you? Of course you did. So stay tuned for our next adventure with Love Angel!!!!!!)

Ending credits start to roll-

Tifa- HOLD IT! Leap you can't make both guys fall for you!
Lea- Why not… I'm the writer, aren't I?
Aeris- Yes, but who do we get?
Lea- Well, there's still Barett, Vince, Red XIII, Yuffie…
Both girls- WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

Ending credits finish rolling.

Kill The Spore
Chapter 2

Meet Vamp Master D.

~Cloud's Villa~

Cloud- ::In a stern voice:: Okay Lea, you've gathered us all here now, what's going on?
Lea- ::Smiles at Cloud. Automatically he softens, she's so cute!:: Tifa and Aeris wanted to meet my brother soooo here he is.
::Vamp Master walks into the room::
Lea- My brother is 3100 years old. No, I'm only sixteen, before you ask. His favorite sport is to fly around at midnight! And loves to… uh… kiss the necks of young available women.
Tifa and Aeris- ::With stars in their eyes:: OOOOHHHH
Tifa- What's your real name?
Vamp Master- Warren.
Aeris- Can we call ya Winnie?
Vamp Master- only if you don't want to live long. Call me Vamp Master, only Lea calls me Warren.
Lea- ::Happily smiles:: Warren is a Vampire.
Vincent- ::Sticks his head through the door where he was obviously eavesdropping:: Vampire? Hey!
::Gets up and goes into room::
Vincent- Vampire or no… No one is allowed to be older than me!
Vamp Master- ::Smiles devilishly:: Hah Hah Hah.
::Takes out his Memo Book and puts on Franklin Glasses::
Vamp Master- Kill Vincent. There, now I won't forget.
::Everybody Sweatdrops::
Lea- ::trying to divert her brother from killing all her new friends:: Want some Lasagna?
Vamp Master- ::Perks up:: Your Lasagna!? OOOOOOO! Yummy! Will you put Aeris on Mine?
Aeris- ::shocked:: Excuse Me!
Lea- ::Sweatdrop:: How about anchovies instead?
Vamp Master- ::disappointed:: Why!
::He gets the look::
Vamp Master- Okay! Okay! That will do.
::Aeris hears him mumble:: "For Now"
Aeris- ::Runs from the room:: AHHHHH
Vamp Master- ::flying after her says:: Ha Ha!
Lea- ::Sweatdrops:: Oh well… gotta get cooking!
Cloud- ::Stops her:: Just put anchovies on his, okay?
::everyone solemnly nods::
Lea- ::Laughingly:: okay!

After everyone had been fed it was time to deside where Vamp Master would sleep.

Aeris- ::peeking a look at Vamp Master:: Don't put him anywhere near me!
Vamp Master- ::GRINS:: Hmph, can't think why she would say somethin like that! Ha Ha Ha
Tifa- ::snickers:: hee hee hee
Cloud- All the rooms are occupied except one.
All- ::except Vamp Master who doesn't have a clue what they're talking about:: Oh no! not the slut!
Vamp Master- HUH! Excuse me!
Lea- ::explaining:: Yuffie has room in her apartment.
Vamp Master- ::bum bum bum:: Oh no! I heard what she tried to do to Dracula, Alucard and Sam.
Red XIII- Hey, leave Sam out of this. What Yuffie did to him was brutal. I don't think he'll ever be well enough to leave the institute.
::All nod their heads::

Meanwhile at Yuffie's Apartment

::sneaky music:: gotta find my room…
Yuffie- I gotta rape the new guy.
::both turn same corner::
Yuffie- I found you!!!
::Draggs him off::
::Cloud,Vincent, and Aeris come to visit::
::they go upstairs and hear a few oh's, yesses, chains, and helps::
They leave and leave him to suffer…

~Back downstairs~

::Cloud,Vince, and Aeris come in the door of the kitchen::
Lea- ::while buisily preparing supper:: So how is Warren settling in.
All three- Oh great… fine… wonderful.
A Voice- ::From upstairs:: HEEEEEELP!
Lea- what was that… maybe Warren needs help.
Cloud, Vince and Aeris- ::Looking at eachother:: They're watching a horror flick.
Lea- Oh okay. Dum dum dum… ::continues cooking::

Upstairs
Cid- ::From down the hall:: Stop that racket!
::It persists and he throws Yuffie's door open:: What's goin on here?
::He sees Yuffie's but sticking up in the air. She seems to be leaning on
something but he can't make out what it is::
Cid- ::Closing the door:: Must be some new type of Yoga.

Later That night at midnight
All through the house- AHHHH! Help Me!
Lea- ::From inside her room:: Must be a Horror Flick Marathon.

Later That year
All through the house- AHHHH! Please Help! I'm starting to like it!
Lea- ::Thinking to herself:: They must really like Horror shows.

3 Years Later
Lea- ::talking to Cloud:: That's it! Cloud, go get Warren. I've got a plan to get rid of the pink thing.

A few minuts later she hears a joyous shout…
Vamp Master- I'M FREE!
Lea- Silly goof off…

At the Lair of Chibi Usa

BANG!
Chibi Usa- Huh?
Angel Love- Okay bro, lets do it!
::Together Angel Love and Vamp Master Attack Chibi Usa with their powers::
Lea- Shouldn't take long now!
Suddenly a blinding flash of light is all around the room. When it cleared, Chibi Usa was a BOY!
Lea- Hee Hee! I dub thee Chivi Buma

Later that night

Chivi Buma- NOOOO!! Heeeelp!
Vamp Master- :: Looking at his sister:: Sis, it was a stroke of genius to turn the spore into a boy and give him to Yuffie.
::Sephiroth comes through the door::
Sephiroth- Ready for our date, Lea?
Lea- Yep ::Picks up her coat but stops when she see's Vamp Master talking to Sephiroth:: Oh no!
Vamp Master- If you take advantage of her or she gets hurt, I will let Yuffie have you for a year before I finally cut off your penis! Understand?
Sephiroth- ::gulping::Yes sir mr. Great personality sir.
Lea- Warren!

Outside
Sephiroth- You know Lea… doing that to the spore was sick!
Lea- I know!
Sephiroth- You're a lady after my own heart!

End Credits Rolli-

Vamp Master- Hold IT! Want to know what happens to me? As for me, I settled down, turned Aeris into a vampire and now we have many little Warrens and Aeris'. Don't ya just LOVE ME!

The REST of the End Credits Rolling

Another Sailor Moon Story

"I wonder why Chibi Usa has pink hair and such an annoying voice?" the Writer asked Sailor Pluto.
Pluto looked thoughtful for a minute, "I don't know…. Though I must admit, I sometimes wonder who could have a mind twisted enough to suggest her to Naoko."
The Writer nodded to her, "yeah whoever's idea it was to create Chibi Usa should be shot."
Pluto grunted in agreement, "So what's today's story about boss?"
The Writer smiled, " do you remember when we went surfing the Internet and found all those Chibi Usa hate sites?" Pluto nodded. "Well I figured we could take that list of things that could be done to kill Chibi Usa and put them into action."
Pluto smiled in anticipation, "Lets do it."

Chibi Usa sat up in bed, yawning, "Oh yeah it's Saturday!"

Pluto shivered, "that voice is scary."
The writer could only nod in agreement.
"hmm I wonder what Shingo and I can do to Usagi today?" Chibi Usa smiled evilly, already cooking up schemes in that twisted cotton candy covered head of hers. She got up and went downstairs, singing that weird Tuxedo Mask song as she went,
"Rain or shine I'm happiest When I'm with Tuxedo Mask He makes sing he makes me laugh I just love Tuxedo mask."

Usagi's mom shuttered when she heard the pink thing singing while coming down the stairs, "I wish someone would shut that kid up." She muttered while pasting a smile on her face. "Good morning, Chibi Usa, did you sleep well?"

"I slept great! Umm Tsukino Mama where are Usagi and Shingo?"

She gave Chibi Usa a bowl of cereal, wishing she could shove the kid's face in it, "Usagi went to the Hino's temple with her friends and Shingo went to the arcade with his father."

Chibi Usa nodded, she would go up to the temple after breakfast and make fun of that weird old man who ran the temple.

As Chibi Usa was walking down the street to the temple, a pink car with a "We hate Chibi Usa" on the side appeared out of no where, running her over and speeding away till they were out of sight. Chibi Usa unflattened herself from where she had been squished on the road and continued on her way.

Pluto looked miffed, "why wouldn't you let her be killed?" The writer looked at her, "Then the story would be over too quick." Pluto nodded still annoyed that the pink haired demon was still alive.

Chibi Usa bounded into the temple scaring all the girls. Makoto screamed and knocked her into Rei's soul fire, "waaaaa." Chibi Usa landed in the fire but only stayed in a minute before jumping out again, only a few hairs were singed. Usagi started wailing loudly and Makoto walked over to her,"I'm sorry Usagi, I didn't mean to singe your daughter, She sneaked up on me!"

Usagi only wailed louder, "I thought I was finally rid of her, but she just wont die!!!!!" The girls patted her back sympathetically.

Two hours later Usagi and Naru were shopping, the little spore had followed Usagi, when Naru exploded, "I just can't take it anymore, The little brat just can't seem to understand that I am supposed to have the most annoying voice in the show." With that she pulled out a revolver and shot Chibi Usa in the head. Chibi Usa looked at Naru," Why did you put a bruise on my face?" Naru screamed and fell to the floor crying. Later Naru was admitted into a mental hospital, the strain of competing with the pink-headed demon had proved to be too much.

"Come on boss, that was twice more she's surrvived, please put her out of our misery!"
The writer looked at Pluto, clearly amused, "Don't worry, we'll be rid of her soon enough."
Pluto calmed herself once more and watched as the story proceeded.

By nightfall Usagi was about to give up hope of ever getting rid of Chibi Usa when it started to rain. Chibi Usa screamed in pain and melted into a disgusting pink sugary goo on the sidewalk. Usagi started jumping up down ecstatically and rushed home to tell all her family and friends the good news.

Pluto looked dumbly at the writer, "that's all it took?"
The writer nodded, smiling and started writing about what happened to everybody.

Usagi was happy now, and Naru made a full recovery and is now very happy that she has the most annoying voice again.

All the world was once more at peace.

The E-

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!!!" Pluto and the writer looked as Mamoru walked toward them.
"Why wasn't I in this fic huh?" The writer stopped Pluto from going over and hurting Mamoru for his lack of respect, "Okay Mamoru I'll put you in too."

Mamoru is in his apartment and plays with himself.

"Forget it!" he stomped off.

The End

K.T.P.T. (Kill The Pink Thing)

Project K.T.P.T
1. Use her as artificial sweetener.
2. Shark bait.
3. Target during blowtorch practice.
4. Guilitine tester.
5. Turn her over to the fashion police. (Pink and Red?)
6. Put her in an action film. "Oops you mean i put REAL bullets in the gun?" (hee hee)
7. A car runs her over, It was only coincidense it was the new K.T.P.T. car! honest!
8. Put her in a can and sell her as an unwanted boyfriend repellant.
9. Door stop.
10. Bubble wrap

Kill Chibi Usa
Battle 1

Tenchi VS The Spore

Welcome folks to the day's battle. Today its Tenchi Vs that evil flamingo head we all hate, Chibi Usa!

Both opponents walk out on the floor. Chibi Usa smiles evilly, "Ready to die, shrine boy?" Tenchi whips out his sword and swings it at her, he misses when she jumps into the air and comes down, ready to hit him with her rod. Suddenly a blast comes from out of nowhere and hits Chibi Usa, who explodes. Tenchi swings around to see who saved him, "Ryoko!" Ryoko scowls at the pieces left of the spore, "Try and hurt my Tenchi and you die." She swoops down and picks him up. They fly off together.

Chibi Usa lost this round folks… check back soon for the next battle.