Chibi Usa's Evil Plan
(Or how Alucard got his Groove Back)
Part 1

By YingGirl (yinggirl@yahoo.com)

(Stupid Title nee? ^^;;)

BASED ON A TRUE STORY

(Well, not really...BUT I FOOLED YA!)

(Oh if you don't know who that guy is. Adrian Farenheights Tepes is his real name but folks call him Alucard. The offspring of an unnatural union between Count Dracula and a human woman. (Well at least he and Chibi Usa had something in common...WHACKED OUT PARENTS!!!) Alucard possesses inhuman strength and dark magical powers. His weapon of choice is a sword, and he uses a variety of them to serve his needs. He is an adapt shapeshifter, commonly using the forms of wolf, bat, and mist to confuse and terrify his opponents. Alucard also relies heavily on ancient relics and magical items to perform elaborate magical attacks. This guy made his apperance in CastleVania SoTN (Sympathy of the Night, you Chibi Usa idiots!!!)

(Ooh that was long...)

(Anyways, FF7 & FF8 characters are from SquareSoft, characters from CastleVania SoTN are from Konami.)

(oo;; Why are you still reading this? I'M STARTING THE DAMN STORY!!!)

**In the Future, at the time gates**
Chibi Usa: Damn, I gotta find a way to get rid of those pathetic CURE members. But how?
Sailor Pluto: *at the Time Gate, on the celler* Of course, when one brews Ginseng, one must expect to wait more than two hours? Geez, at least I managed with the queen to have this along with me. *sighs* It gets pretty boring just guarding a damn door!!
Chibi Usa: That's it!! I'll travel back in time, dress up as YingGirl, rape an important man and soon they'll be thousands of hate sites that the CURE members will never think of updating their sites. Because of ignorance... their net servers WILL DELETE THEM!!! AND ONLY CUTE SHALL BE THE ONE LET STANDING!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Sailor Pluto: Gotta go, Small Lady plans to try to change the future by going into the past again. *closes her celler*
Chibi Usa: *dashes towards the gate* RAGE!!!
Sailor Pluto: *draws her time staff* Dead...
Chibi Usa: LUNA P!!! SMOKE BOMB ATTACK!!!
**Luna P self destructs causing a fog barrier**
Sailor Pluto: *can't see* Oh F***
Chibi Usa: *jumps into the time gate* SO LONG PUU!!!
**time gates closes**
Sailor Pluto: *sweatdrops* I'll probably get blamed for this incident.

Meanwhile in Cloud's Villa.
Cait Sith: *sings* I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves. Everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. And it goes like this... I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves. Everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. And it goes like this... I know a
song that gets on everybody's nerves. Everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. And it goes like this... I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves. Everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. And it goes like this... I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves. Everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. And it goes like this...
Carbuncle: *holding up some cards* FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT UP!!!
Cait Sith: The nerve! *crosses his arms*
Aeris: *holding up some cards* Got any threes PJ?
Pumpkin Jr.: *blushes* Course Miss Aeris. *passes some cards to Aeris but gets intercepted by the Ultima sword*
Cloud: Flirt with her, and I kill you.
PumpkinJr.: *wimpering* 'kay... Mr. Strife.
Cloud: Better.
Tifa: Damn him.
YingGirl: *waves her tail* Oh Richter, we're finally together...
Vincent: *playing on the PSX* Ying, I'm demonstrating to you how to play CastleVania SoTN.
YingGirl: I like that game.
Vincent: *yells* THEN PAY ATTENTION FOR ONCE!!! INSTEAD OF DAYDREAMING OF THE GUYS IN THE GAME!!!
YingGirl: Ying-chan says you're mean!
Pumpkin Jr.: Dude, my sis needs to find a boyfriend before she starts flirting with Vincent.
All: *leer aways from PJ* EWWWW!!!
YingGirl: DEAR GOD!! I'M NOT THAT DESPERATE!!
Tifa: So Ying, what you look for in a man?
YingGirl: *looks to the celling* Uh... I prefer older men.
Tifa/Aeris: *leer back at YingGirl* OLDER MEN?!!!
YingGirl: Nani?
Red XIII: *lying on the ground, reading an article in the newspaper* Now we know your sister tends to stay single.

In a dressing room.
Chibi Usa: *applying make up* WAH HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHA!! YING WILL DIE!!!
Scarlett: Will you hurry up?!! My masacara needs to be reapplied.

In Balamb Garden.
Irvine: *standing in front of a door* Kind far madame with hair radiant and lovely as the sun, eyes that shine up like two mystical green gemstones...
Squall: *opens the door* You could have just k-IRVINE?!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING STANDING AT MY FRONT DOOR?!!
Irvine: *face turns red* This ISN'T Selphie's dorm?!!
Squall: Selphie is always in the festival committee.
Rinoa: *moaning* Squall... moma needs someone to play with her.
Irvine: O.o;; Uh... what are you doing with Rinoa? And where are your pants?
Squall: Irvine, get out of here before HeadMaster Cid finds out you're in the WRONG GARDEN!!!
Irvine: Aw, don't worry bout it.
HeadMaster Cid: Worry about WHAT Mr. Kinneas?
Irvine: Eep.
HeadMaster Cid: You know the rules. No public visits to Balamb Garden. *grabs Irvine's ponytail* Now come along, I'll get you back before HeadMaster Martine and my wife realizes you're gone.
Irvine: *whines* NO!!! YOU CAN'T TAKE ME BACK THERE!! THERE'S NO GOOD LOOKING GIRLS OVER THERE!!!

Elsewhere, in the demonic CastleVania.
YingGirl (disguised Spore): *hops out of the transport dimension* Yes. Now who should I have sex with?
Alucard: *enters the hallways, watching his guard* Funny. I don't remember you.
YingGirl: *grins* You're not like my Mamoru-san, but you'll do.
Alucard: Excuse me?
YingGirl: *jumps on Alucard, and being making out with him as any female prositute will do*
Alucard: THE HELL?!!!
Richter: WHOO HOO!! THE COUNT'S SON GETS F***ED UP ROYALLY!!
YingGirl: You're next when I'm through with him Rich... *Richter has left the building* Oh well.
Alucard: Will someone get this evil succubus off of me?!!!!
YingGirl: No!!

In a nearby village.
Maria: I'll rest, I've serched for three nights. And still no sign of Richter. I'll rest for a while, then I must find him somehow.
Richter: *running into a village* Maria! Maria!!
Maria: Richter?!! Is that you?
Richter: Yes, it's me alright. You should have seen what has happened at the castle.
Maria: What has?
Richter: *covers his mouth to snicker* Drac's son... he's being raped by a monkey girl right now!
Newsreporter: *nearby* Oh... Alucard gets moltested by one of this fans. This is SWEET!!! *runs towards the castle*
Cameraman: I GOTTA TAKE PICTURES!!! *follows to the castle*

TO BE CONTINUED.

Chibi Usa's Evil Plan Part 2
(Or how Alucard got his Groove Back)

By YingGirl


THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE. RUN MULDER RUN!

(Nice X-Files ref nee?)

(WHAT?!! You still dunno who is this Alucard guy? NO!!! HOW CAN'T YOU NOT KNOW WHO HE IS?!!)

(Oh yeah, I forgot to send a picture of him. D'oh!)

(*howls*)

(Like it? Hate it? Ok... moving along.)

(Anyways, FF7 & FF8 characters are from SquareSoft, characters from CastleVania SoTN are from Konami.)

(Enjoy the show!)

In the future, Crystal Tokyo.
NeoQueenSerenity: WHAT?!! The spore ran into the time door again?
Sailor Pluto: *bows* Gomen highness. I am truely sorry for this incident.
NeoQueenSerenity: I just hope my former self in the past can find the spore and kill her.
NeoKingEndymoin: WHOO HOO!! THE PINK SUCCUBUS IS GONE!! YES!!
Sailor Pluto: Excuse me your majesty?
NeoQueenSerenity: Well, we found out that Small Lady, Chibi Usa, was not even human. She was a demoness known as a Succubus, preying on males for their energy. Sailor Pluto: That would explain why she was lustfully after her own father.
NeoQueenSerenity: But we don't know who she really works for.

The Next Day in Cloud's Villa
Carbuncle: *resting in a flower bed* Ah... this is the life.
Aeris: Hum dee dum da *fixes her flowers*
Pumpkin Jr.: She's so pretty...
Tifa: *whispers in Pumpkin Jr.'s ear* Too bad she dies at the end of disc 1.
Pumpkin Jr.: She dies?!!! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *runs away crying*
YingGirl: *waves her saiyan tail* Wonder what's up with him?
Tifa: *grins* Something personal.
Red XIII: That was mean Tifa.
Pumpkin Jr.: *continues crying* WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Cid: S^&@!! %$@#%$@#$&%@%^*%^*!!! I'M WATCHING %^*#$@$ DUKES HERE!!!
YingGirl: Yeah, yeah.
TV Newsreporter: We interupt this show for a news brief.
Cid: $@#%%^#^&^%$@##$!@$%#!@@#!$#!%^&*(&*!!!!!
YingGirl: Dude!!!
TV Newsreporter: Adrian Vlad Temps, also reffered to as Alucard was molested by a young teenage girl last night.
Cait Sith: Someone let out Yuffie last night.
TV Newsreporter: Apparently we can only get Alucard to speak with us at night. Although we have his local friends Ricther Belmout and Maria.
Ricter: Hey.
Maria: Hi mom! I'm on TV!
TV Newsreporter: How do you feel about this incident?
Richter: I always knew he would get it one of these days. Never did trusted vampires, even half human/half vampire ones.
TV Newsreporter: *turns to Maria* Your thoughts mamme?
Maria: Whoever this girl is... I WILL KILL HER!!! ALUCARD IS MINE YOU DAMN (CENSORED) (CENSORED) (CENSORED) (CENSORED) SUCKING (CENSORED) (CENSORED)!!!
Richter: *shocked* O.O MARIA!!!
TV Newsreporter: O.O
Cid: My kind of %*@#$@#!$ woman!!
TV Newsreporter: Anyway, we have only one suspect to the crime. *shows of a picture of YingGirl* This girl is suspected to be the attacker. If you have any information on this person, please phone us right away!
Cait Sith: That's YING!!!
Cloud: Oh my god!!! You are REALLY THAT DESPERATE!!!
YingGirl: *waves her tail* But but!! That picture... I have NO TAIL!!!
Aeris: Ying, sins are forgiven when they're repented.
YingGirl: But I didn't do it!!!
Carbuncle: Oh yeah, and one night you decided you wanted to screw a 400 year old vampire. THAT IS SICK!!!
YingGirl: But...!
Tifa: Remember, you like old men.
Cait Sith: That guy is old enough to be Ying's great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandfather.
Cloud: *scratches his head* But why him?
Aeris: *sits next to YingGirl* So Ying, from lady to lady, how was it like being with such a cute gothic guy as your boyfriend?
Pumpkin Jr.: *still crying* WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
YingGirl: I'm single!
Tifa: So IT WAS A ONE NIGHT STAND!!!
YingGirl: I don't what you're talking about... I'm still a virgin.
All: O.O *stare at YingGirl*
Carbuncle: Okay, how does a virgin act like a slut overnight?
YingGirl: *turns red*
Tifa: I never knew that Ying, most teenagers your age have premateral sex.
YingGirl: *looks down, waving her tail* Geez you think? I never had a first kiss or a first date. I never even had a boyfriend. I had to learn kissing from a girl.
All: WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
YingGirl: hmmm....

Elsewhere in Midgar Train Station.
Chibi Usa: *watching the new reports of Alucard being molested* Oh yes perfect. Thank you Pegasus for turning me in a teenager again.
Pegasus: *licks Chibi Usa's face* Pleasure all mine.
Chibi Usa: Everyone seems to loose their attention on me. I just need another thing to do before I want to turn a young teenager again.
Pegasus: What is it, princess?
Chibi Usa: I need to speak to my boss. I have finally found a way to get his son to take orders from him.
Pegasus: How?
Chibi Usa: You'll see.

Back in Balamb Garden, in the late afternoon.
Irvine: *mutters to himself* If this doesn't get me into Balamb, I don't know what to do. *walks down a hallway, dressed up as a female Balamb student*
Raijin: *looks towards the dressed up Irvine* Who is that?
Seifer: I don't know. She seems kinda cute with that pony tail.
Fuujin: BROKE RULE.
Raijin: Oh yeah. No one walks down the hallway all by themselves. Can be dangerous.
Fuujin: RIGHT.
Seifer: So let's take her down. *grins*
Irvine: *still walking as he's dressed up as a woman* shit...*continues to walk down the hallway, trying to ignore Seifer and his posse*
Raijin: *grabs a hold of Irvine's shoulder* So where do you think you're going, pretty?
Irvine: AH! I mean ah... well I was going to see a friend.
Raijin: Kay.
Fuujin: JOIN YOU?
Irvine: *lady like voice* No, no. I'm fine.
Seifer: You look familliar...do I know you?
Irvine: *in a lady like voice* Oh no, just please leave me alone.
Seifer: Fine. Leave her alone. Let her speak to her friend.
Irvine: *runs off, leaving Seifer and his posse in a cloud of dust*
Raijin: What do we do now boss?
Seifer: Don't get her out of this building. Keep a close eye on her.
Raijin: Aye aye boss!
Irvine: Eep! *runs faster*
Seifer: Get her!!!
Irvine: GAWD!!! I HATE YAOI FANFICS!!! *is being chased by Fuujin & Raijin*

In CastleVania.
Chibi Usa: I must find my boss.
Pegasus: I'll wait here for you princess.
*a bat flies in*
Chibi Usa: There he is now.
*the bat covers itself with mist as it turns into yet another vampire*
Count Dracula: Long time no see, my Small Lady.
Chibi Usa: *kneels as she bows* How may I serve you Lord Dracula?
Pegasus: This who you work for princess?
Chibi Usa: *still kneeling and bowing* I have finally found a way to let your rebelious son finally obey you once and for all?
Count Dracula: Is that so? I tried three times and the best I could do was to put my fledling to sleep... yet ever time he awakens, he returns back to his spiteful self!!!
Chibi Usa: But I know. Your son is not willing to do any harm to humans, even if they try to destroy him. I have sent your son to go after an innocent human who was mistaken to be me. He will slay this human into bits and pieces.
Count Dracula: *sneers* And what if he doesn't?
Chibi Usa: *grins* Then the human will kill him, making sure you're no longer have to endure having a spiteful son.
Count Dracula: Excellent. You were always a perfect Succubus, I never knew why I insisted you of riding those pure heart senshi on your own.
Chibi Usa: Cause I can walk in daylight, you can't.
Count Dracula: Then go. Make sure those two rid each other once and for all!
Chibi Usa: Of course, master.

Early evening in Balamb Garden.
Raijin: Hello there. *hugs Irvine*
Irvine: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Raijin: Don't fight....*realizes something, then backs away* GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAK!
Fuujin: WRONG?
Irvine: Well...I guess you figured me out. *redresses in his normal clothing, wiping the make up off his face*
Raijin: AW SICK MAN!! I WAS HUGGING A GUY!!!
Irvine: And I am so outta here before the sercurity cameras turn back on. *runs away as he exits*

Back in Cloud's Villa.
Cloud: Hey, where did Ying go?
Red XIII: She said she needed to take a walk to release some inner disturbances which were troubling her mind.
Cloud: What?
Cait Sith: Ying wants to be alone right now.
Carbuncle: A 16 year old screwing a 400 hundred year old... NOW THAT'S DISTURBING!!!
Pumpkin Jr.: *sniffles*
Tifa: But why will she ever do that? She admitted she was still a virgin.
Red XIII: Maybe she wanted to end her lonliness which taken away most of her life. So she decided to hit on a male with corupt feelings stirring in her.
Carbuncle: But who is willing to have intimacy with their great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandfather?
Pumpkin Jr.: *blows his nose*
Red XIII: Only she knows the answer, and she'll be the one willing to speak therm out.
Cloud: I say we find Ying before she gets beaten up by an angry mob of gothic fans.
Aeris: Ok... I'll go with Cloud.
Tifa: Hey!!! What about me?
Carbuncle: You can always be with me.
Tifa: Oh Carbuncle, you're so darn cute! *hugs Carbuncle*
Cloud: *gets a bit jealous* HEY!!!

Night-time in Sector 7 slums.
Vanessa: *walking down the gloomy streets* I can't believe it. No one believes me. How can I be a hero the first day... and be a bad guy the next? *waves her tail* Was I sleep walking?
*the lights dim out*
Vanessa: *looks up as she waves her tail* I have to find out who made my other identity look bad.
Voice: Funny. I thought it was you.
Vanessa: Huh? *waves her tail*
*the gentleman exits from the shadows as he stands in front of Vanessa. He is dressed up in 18th century clothing, carrying a shield and a sword.*
Vanessa: *holds onto her transforming pen* Who are you?
Alucard: Now why should I tell you? I have no quarrel with you.
Vanessa: *imitates buzzer* Wrong answer bud! PHOENIX! CRYSTAL POWER!!! MAKE UP!!! *morphs into YingGirl*
YingGirl: Gothic types guys who acused innocent young girls of doing wrong, I shall never forgive you! The agent of rebirth and immortality shall never forgive you! YingGirl: Champion of Justice! *poses*
Alucard: How do you call yourself a champion when you rarely haven't defeated a willing challanger?
YingGirl: Hey!!! *waves her tail*
Alucard: I rarely hurt humans... *glares at YingGirl* But for you, I'll make an exception.
YingGirl: *anime sweatdrop* Hoo boy, I must have pissed him off royally.
Chibi Usa: *watching the two in a hiding place* Yes, get rid of each other. I'm so good at creating fights.
Alucard: *dashes towards YingGirl, then disappears*
YingGirl: *waves her tail as she looks around* Huh? Where did he go?!! That was some magic trick!!
Alucard: *reappears and grabs YingGirl in a headlock*
YingGirl: GYAH!!!!
Chibi Usa: *continues watching* My plan is working, soon Rebel Son of Dracula will be NO MORE!!!! Along with those Anti Chibi Usa sites as well.
Readers: BOOO! BOOO!!! BOOOO!!
Alucard: *leans towards YingGirl's neck* Your... scent. It's different.
YingGirl: Uh...*blushes a shade of red*
Chibi Usa: WHAT?!!!
Alucard: The other night, I was attack by someone who seemed to look exactly like you except she had no tail, and her scent was almost the scent of temptation!!!
YingGirl: Kay. *face is still red*
Alucard: Your scent is of a warrior. Strong and couragous enough to move on as she faces more than just death in her path.
YingGirl: Does this mean I'm off the hook?
Chibi Usa: *stands in front of the two* Damnit!!! Why must I do everything myself around here?
YingGirl: Chibi Usa?!!
Chibi Usa: Oh F***
YingGirl: *waves her tail* I sense something that's EVIL and PINK.
Chibi Usa: Damnit, Lord Dracul is gonna kick my ass for this.
Alucard: *lets go of YingGirl* If you were sent by my father to force me to obey him, think again Succubus!!!
*Team Avalanche enters*
Barret: Damnit foo! It's the pink thing!!
Cloud: Let's kick her booty!!
All: CLOUD!!!
Cloud: Heh heh...sorry.
*Richter & Maria enter*
Maria: *growls at YingGirl* I WILL KILL YOU!!!
Alucard: She's innocent!! Kill that pink thing instead. *points to C.U*
Maria: Okay Ally! *growls to Chibi Usa* I WILL KILL YOU!!! YOU EVIL WHORE!!!
Richter: And to think I had problems hating ppl.
Pumpkin Jr.: But you do have a bad acting carreer.
Richter: WHY YOU LIL!! *begins strangling Pumpkin Jr.*
Pumpkin Jr.: AHHHH!!!
Chibi Usa: Time to finish you you all off!! *transform into her succubus form, with the bra size of 48 Double D!!! and bat wing on her back*
Cloud: She has bigger ones than Tifa.
Cid/Barret/Richter/Alucard: *lear away from Chibi Usa*
Chibi Usa: Now you'll all die!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Pumpkin Jr.: Don't think so!! Look! A full moon!
*points to the sky as the full moon appear*
YingGirl: What's that good for?
Carbuncle: Ying!! You're a saiyan! You turn into an
Ookasa under the light of the moon*
YingGirl: OH YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *metamorphs into a 50 ft tall, snarling beast like saiyan monkey*
Chibi Usa: AHH!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!!!
YingGirl: *lets out a roaring sound* RRRROAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!
Chibi Usa: *backs away slowly* Now take it easy YingGirl, I wasn't gonna to let Alucard kill ya.
YingGirl: *glares down at YingGirl with crisom red eyes as looks towards Chibi Usa, her mouth drooling as she roars*
Chibi Usa: Nice saiyan monkey girl.
YingGirl: *lowers her head towards Chibi Usa*
Chibi Usa: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

CHOMP

Pumpkin Jr.: Dude!! She just ATE Chibi Usa!!!
Aeris: How do we turn her back to normal?
Carbuncle: Just cut off her tail.
Cloud: Will do. *draws out the Ultima sword and jumps at the Oosaka, cutting off her tail*
YingGirl: GYYYYAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! *returns back to normal with shreaded clothing as she heads towards the groud*
Alucard: *catches YingGirl*
Richter: Lucky catch.
Pumpkin Jr.: And that's a wrap.

On the following next night, in Cloud's Villa.
YingGirl: *lying on the couch* Uh... my head.
Red XIII: I would be sicken if I ate that spore for a snack.
Pumpkin Jr.: But that was cool.
Cloud: At least we know what that tail was for.
Maria: I'm sorry about trying to hurt you and stuff Ying.
YingGirl: Tis ok. I shouldn't get in your way of your boyfriends.
Maria: You still have a lot to learn.
YingGirl: I ratheir learn them when I'm rested.
Carbuncle: But you slept for a whole day.
Tifa: Well she's a teenager, let her rest.
Cait Sith: And also the hero.
Cloud: And also the saiyan.
Aeris: And also the virgin.
Red XIII: And also the anti-social.
Carbuncle: And also the slut.
Pumpkin Jr.: And also the Chibi Usa eater.
Vincent: And also the one that managed to get THIS
CLOSE to Alucard.
Richter: and also the scandel starter.
Cid: And also the #!%$^&*(#$%^* writer!!!
Maria: And also the...
YingGirl: GODDAMN IT!!! *covers a pillow on her head* SHUT UP!!

The E...

Sephiroth: HOLD IT!!!
YingGirl: Aw crap.
Sephiroth: Why wasn't I in it? And why the hell was Alucard even interested in such an lil brat like you?
YingGirl: It's my story!
Sephiroth: Hmm...I sense you have a crush on this gothic vamp. Maybe another story about your love relation.
YingGirl: Grrr..
Sephiroth: What are those punture marks on your neck? *grins* Wasn't that your first kiss?
YingGirl: Gah!! Sephiroth!! Stop acting like my dad!!

The End (Finally!!!)

The Letter

By YingGirl

(Anyway, FF7 characters, CastleVania SoTN charaters, you know who you're copy-written by!!!)

In the pleasent Town of Montreal, a local gym
YingGirl: *punching a boxing dummy* Oh man!! I have so much energy I can kick anyone's ass!!!
Pumpkin Jr.: Geez, I wonder why? I heard vampire bites make their victim's horny...but this is kinda stupid.
YingGirl: Alucard's a half vamp. And I'm a fire sprite saiyan.
Pumpkin Jr.: *taking a sip from his slushie* That would explain it.
YingGirl: There's so much energy in me... gawd!! Am I turning into Yuffie?
Pumpkin Jr.: God help us. So... what did you do AFTER you ate Chibi Usa.
YingGirl: I...well, you know.
Pumpkin Jr.: Nature has a werid way of calling people to... "freshen up".
YingGirl: *continues punching the bag*
Carbuncle: *looking up a book on vampires and other stuff* I think I know why Ying's acting like this?
Pumpkin Jr.: Ok..what?
Carbuncle: Fire sprites always act WAY TOO active when they have a small C-R-U-S-H.
YingGirl: *stops punching*
Pumpkin Jr.: DUDE!!!
YingGirl: NO WAY!! I HAVE NO GODDAMN CRUSH ON SOME VAMP!!!

Near by the locker arena
Chibi Usa: *walks out of the bathroom, covered in feces and urine* Damn, that monkey girl! *looks at herself* NOOO!!! *runs back into the washroom to clean herself up*
Janitor: CALUS!!! MA CETTE FILLE EST (CESOREDE)!!!

Back in the gym
Carbuncle: Tis true.
YingGirl: But...I can't have a crush! I'm too young!!
Pumpkin Jr.: You're 16 damnit...
YingGirl: Shut up bro.
Carbuncle: But you might actually LIKE going out for once.
YingGirl: Still...I don't think it's right.
Pumpkin Jr.: Hoo boy, Ying. It's time for the birds and bees.
YingGirl: O.o? Nani?
Carbuncle: Lemmie give you this lecture. You see... when...

Inside the locker area
Chibi Usa: There HAS to be a way to rid that saiyan girl once and for all. But how? *goes to Ying's locket and see a note with a rose* WHAT?!! MY MAMORUSAN IS FLIRTING WITH THIS GIRL?!!! *stomps out of the room, carrying the note with the rose* THAT'S IT!!! THE MONKEY GIRL IS GOING DOWN!!!

Back at the Gym
Carbuncle: And that's how the date thing began.
YingGirl: Whoa.
Pumpkin Jr.: *snore*
YingGirl: Now that's something.
Carbuncle: You can thank me later.
Chibi Usa: *stomps in* YINGGIRL!!!!
YingGirl: *turns around* Ah! Spore!! Kill it! Kill it!!
Chibi Usa: You will DIE for flirting with MY Mamorusan!
Carbuncle: Eww. Why would she want to do that?
Pumpkin Jr.: And it's Usako's, not yours.
Chibi Usa: *uses her locket* MOON PRISM POWER! MAKE UP!! *trans form into Sailor Chibi Moon*
Pumpkin Jr./Carbuncle: *grabs onto barf bags, puking into them as they see C.U.'s transformation*
YingGirl: Sick kid!! The agent of Rebirth and Immortality is gonna kick your ass!!
Caramel: Ying!! That's not how it it!!
Artemis: I like it!!
Luna: Artemis!! *claws at Artemis' face*
Artemis: IEEEEEEEE!!!
Chibi Moon: *pulls out her rod* PINK SUGAR HEART ATTACK!!!
Pumpkin Jr.: Ying! Look out!! *pushes Ying aside* AHHH!!
YingGirl: Prometheus!!!
Pumpkin Jr.: *turns into a CUTE member* I love my daddy so much I'll be such a good boy that I'll get molested by him! :-)
Carbuncle: WHAT THE HELL PJ?!!!
Pumpkin Jr.: *drools at Chibi Usa* Go pink hair goddess, take care of them.
Chibi Moon: Why certainly! With Ying on MY SIDE!! NO ONE WILL GET IN MY WAY!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
YingGirl: Don't think so. FIRE ILLUSION!!! *throws random fire spells at Chibi Moon*
Chibi Moon: PINK SUGAR HEART ATTACK!!! *coats the fire spells with PINK SUGAR*
YingGirl: Son of a...
Carbuncle: We're doomed!!!
Pumpkin Jr.: You CURE members better give up, you are NO MATCH for the pink Goddess.
YingGirl: Aw sh*t.
Voices: Not so fast!
*two figures appear at the doorway, revealing their CURE membership cards*
Sephiroth: Member #187 I'm here to take you down cause you used mother for your own purposes! *eyes glow mako green* I shall not forgive you.
Alucard: Member #188. I'm just here cause your demon/succubus thing is scaring most of our SoTN fans half to death!!!
Chibi Moon: Then I'll turn you all to CUTE members and you'll all worship me!!!
Pumpkin Jr.: *sings* Rain or shine, I'm happiest when I'm with my Tuxedo Mask.
Sephiroth/YingGirl/Alucard: *cover their ears*
Chibi Moon: Hee hee hee!!
Carbuncle: That does it!! *jumps into the air, and peforms "Ruby Light" casting reflect on Seph, Ying, & Alucard*
Chibi Moon: PINK SUGAR HEART ATTACK!!!
*her attacks bounces off and heads straight back at her*
Chibi Moon: AHHH!!! *gets hit by her own attack*
Pumpkin Jr.: *reverts back to normal* Huh? What the? *sees Chibi Usa getting smacked by her own attack* Ha ha!
YingGirl: Okay, let's beat up the pink SH*T!!!
Sephiroth/Alucard: Right!!
Chibi Moon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! *runs to the exit*
Carbuncle: She's getting away!
YingGirl: Don't think so. *looks at her watch* 3... 2...

Outside.
Chibi Moon: *running onto the road* I gotta get outta this town.
*A 18 wealer truck drives towards her as she looks up*
Chibi Moon: Oh F***
*gets splattered and becomes another dead animal on the road*
Truck Driver: *flipping the bird* CALIUS!!!!

In the Gym.
YingGirl: 1... Chibi is gone.
Carbuncle: *looks out of the window, seeing the bloody mess on the road* You're sick Ying.
Pumpkin Jr.: *picks up a the note* Huh? Wonder what's this?
YingGirl: I guess that's the thing that made Chibi Usa pissed off. Read it!
Pumpkin Jr.: *reads the letter* Oh cool, it says Seltzer is interested in giving Ying a private tour of the Zepplin. Also says bring a girl friend as well.
YingGirl: Okay...
Sephiroth/Alucard: SELTZER!!!
Carbuncle: I sense a guy's version of a bitch fight.
Sephiroth: Why would she want to take a tour with someone who's looking like a piece of crap?
Alucard: *hugs YingGirl* Exactly, she could have a well educated tour of my father's domain.
YingGirl: eee... *blushes*
Sephiroth: Educated my ass! We all know you're a horny 400 year old half human/half vampire, just ready to get laid!!!
Alucard: Well at least I do have to grant permission from some science freak project!!
Sephiroth: *draws out his masamune* What did you say about Jenova?!!! *growls*
Carbuncle: Yep... it got ugly!
Alucard: Now don't be so hasty, unless you want this girl to end up dead.
YingGirl: Guys! You can quit it.
Sephiroth: Wait... I don't even like that Ying. AND I'M THINKING OF GOING OUT WITH HER?!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!!! *runs off*
Pumpkin Jr.: That was far out lame.
Carbuncle: Yep...
YingGirl: Puu.

The End

Chibi-Usa and The Chibizier

By YingGirl

Final Fantasy 8 and its characters are property of SquareSoft :)

It all started on a typical Saturday night at Balamb Garden.

Irvine: *passing through the hallways, meeting with all the ladies* So, care to accompanied me on this lonely Saturday night?
Quistis: Does HeadMaster Martine knows you’re here?
Irvine: Uh…
Rinoa: There he goes again.
YingGirl: Well it’s Saturday night, you know what that means…
All: SQUALL IS PLAYING WITH HIMSELF!!!
Squall: *looks up* Huh?
Rinoa: *sighs* When will I ever get a change to play with Squall too?
YingGirl: Rinoa!!! This is a PG-13 rated fic!!!!
Chibi-Usa: *pops out from nowhere* Wah ha!!! Time for you FF8 diehards to perish in glory!!!
Rinoa: Oh quiet you spore. We have someone even more annoying than you.
Chibi-Usa: I have a new toy! Luna-P! CHIBIZIER!!!
Quistis: Chibi what?
Rinoa: I think she said Chibi sick.
Irvine: What I think she said is Chibi clit.
YingGirl: IRVINE!!! GO AWAY AND COME BACK WITH YOUR SHOTGUN!!!
Irvine: Yes ma'am!!! *runs off*
Chibi-Usa: It’s a CHIBIZIER YOU IDIOTS!!!!
All: Ooooooh.
Quistis: Uh… what’s that?
Chibi-Usa: It will turn all into chibi, just like me!! And then… I’LL RULE THE WORLD!!!
YingGirl: That’s even worse than the game’s story plot.
Chibi-Usa: Take this!!! *turns everyone into Chibi forms*
Chibi Quistis: Oh no!!! I have to study for the next SeeD exam!!!
Chibi Rinoa: Come on Angelo, let’s play catch.
Puppy Angelo: *barks*
Chibi Seifer: *walks in* It’s time to do what I always do best!! Beat up Squally boy!!!
Chibi Squall: NOOOO!!
Chibi Seifer: *takes out a toy gunblade and chases Chibi Squall* Hee hee!!
Chibi Raijin: Go boss go!!!
Chibi Fuujin: Affirmative.
Chibi Zell: HOT DOTS!!! HOT DOGS!!!!
Chibi YingGirl: Well, there goes the neighborhood.
Chibi Selphie: *is hyper* ZOOOOO BAT!!! ZOOOOOOOOOOO BAT!!!
Chibi Squall: *is being chased by Chibi Seifer* Anybody!!! HELP ME!!!
Chibi-Usa: Pathetic fools!!! I’m now… KING OF THE WORLD!!!
Irvine: *runs in with a loaded shotgun* Okay Ying, I’m back. ... ?
Chibi Selphie: Let’s have some tea?
Chibi Quistis: Ok.
Chibi Zell: Can I come too if you’re serving hotdogs?
Chibi Seifer: *twaps Chibi Squall with his toy gunblade* Ha!!
Chibi Squall: *cries* I’m telling HeadMaster Cid on you!!!
Irvine: *sweatdrops* Too many… chibis.
Chibi-Usa: *turns to Irvine* Oh! Hi there Irvy Kinny Poo!!!
Irvine: THAT DOES IT!!!  *shoots Chibi-Usa in her head*
Chibi-Usa: NOOOO!!! *dies*
*with the spore's curse broken, everyone reverts to normal*
Irvine: NO ONE CALLS ME “KINNY POO” AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!!
Quistis: Though there IS one you can do for us, Mr. Kinneas.
Irvine: And that is… ?
Quistis: GET OFF THE DAMN CAMPUS BEFORE CID GETS BACK!!
Irvine: *sighs* POOPY!!!
YingGirl: *giggles*

The End.